


Forgotten Remembrance

by KatieConless23



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: Amnesia, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Creepypasta, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Immortals being idiots, It Just Happened Okay?, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible smut, Proxies (Slender Man Mythos), Schizophrenia, Slenderverse, Slow Burn, Swearing, Violence, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, as i said possible, dont worry memory comes back, eventually, eventually :), how to tag on here, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 29,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieConless23/pseuds/KatieConless23
Summary: Collins is a part time college student, with lots of memory problems. However after a quick brush with a killer, he is pulled into a world much different than his own. After some time in the other world, Collins soon discovers not all is what it seems.
Relationships: Slender Man/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. A Strange Night

**Author's Note:**

> Alright my first creepypasta fan fiction on here. Bear with how the pov is, it's just how I've come to write now. If it's that terrible I'll change it. If you like it or hate it, please tell me. Wanting to improve my writing. So constructive criticism is much appreciated. If you read this entire note thank you, I give you flowers, or if you want shiny rocks. I'd get you something more expensive, but I don't have that much money. Anyway onto the story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, I do." She's getting closer, the broom in my hand is keeping distance now. "Aw, don't be like that. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll play nice as long as you do." There's a glint of metal in her jacket, I'm not going to put this broom down.  
> She's frowning. "I was hoping you'd be easier, oh well-" She's bleeding. That's another knife. She's dropped to the floor, I see the man that did it.   
> He looks like came from a horror movie. Scarred skin with white and pale brown hues. Long, thick black hair. His eyes are worse, one bright blue, the other glossed over like it had been burned. I thnk he might be blind in that eye. His face has an irritated stretch of a craved smile. Self inflicted or not, that must have been painful.  
> He looks me up and down, he's still covered in that lady's blood. I don't think I was supposed to see him, if this is even real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind I took inspiration from a Killer Smile with Jeff's description. I had to make some changes as it was too similar to it.

Collins, my name is Collins. At least that's what everyone calls me. I'm human, I was born in a hospital, that's where everyone is born right? I have two parents, I call them Mom and Dad, even though they aren't my blood.

I have short, fluffy white hair, but I'm not albino. That's what the doctors said. Doesn't stop kids from assuming, I never got why people hated things that were different.

I am an adult now, I still look same, as I did as a kid. Just vaguely older. My hair didn't get darker, so it's still that ghostly white. My eyes are brown, and I still look like I haven't spent much time in the sun. Or at the gym. Doesn't mean I can't carry my weight, looks are deceiving to say the least.

  
Just finished work at my job, it's not as good as my last one. But I mean I had to switch cities to finish the last of my studies. I keep looking at my friends and families accomplishments, most of them married and two even have kids. While my last date jumped off a bridge. I liked her, but her ex kept pulling her back, pretty sure that's why she jumped. I've stopped looking for dates after that. 

  
Physics certainly isn't my best subject, but it's better than taking history. I love it, when you have a choice for degrees. History for some reason makes my skin crawl. Listening to how our country came to be, how the world was before now, I can't listen to it without my brain trying to off itself. My teachers used to give me looks to when I wrote something different than what they wanted. My brain seems to want to think something different.

  
The doctors gave me pills, it works to calm the effects of it. Stops the dreams I used to get, and what they called hallucinations. I won't get into much detail of it, personally I don't see the point. But it was mostly my reflection. Sometimes I would see a different person staring back at me. Used to scare me as a kid, now when it happens I just brush it off and take my medication. In fact if I see anything weird I do this.

  
I know what you're thinking. Collins, if you see something weird, just go to the police. Doesn't work or matter. It's why I have invented a game. I call it, ignore it until someone else sees it. Works for just about everything. 

  
Well, I guess it's time for my night job. Places can't clean themselves, that's why people hire me. I honestly hope, no one is going to try something shady, while I'm working. Then I have to give a copy of my diagnosis, and hope no will think I'm going to kill them later. Movies do make people like me out to be killers, only recently have I seen something that remotely doesn't put that on display. 

  
Making sure this time to strap my keys to my pant leg. Don't want the last Tuesday happening again. Had to run back and search the entire building, only to find them on the floor near where I had just got supplies. The lady gave me too much grace in my opinion.

  
The evening air feels much cooler than last night, I hope that means that Fall is just around the corner. My AC can't take me leaving it on for longer than two hours. My car has a better cooling system than my apartment, I'd sleep in it if it weren't for beds being so comfortable. Then again the only car I think you can sleep in comfortably is an RV.

  
Speaking of cars, it looks like I forgot gas. Well looks I'll have to head to the gas station before work. At least I got good mileage on this car. Driving isn't too bad now, it was worst when I first started. Kept seeing things in the dark, Dad said it was likely because they were changing my meds at the time. God, I don't miss those years. 

  
Ah there's the gas station, crappy but cheap. That's how most gas stations are, except for the casino ones. I mean casino ones have to look nice, pulls in gamblers easier that way. I'll get something extra, cause I have walk in to pay for this one. 

  
Rustling. Rustling bush. I'm just going to keep walking. Likely a small animal, or my ears giving me auditory problems. Opening door and walking in. I'll just grab some chips, pay for them and gas, and then be on my way.

  
"Just the chips Sir?" The clerk smiles, she's a girl. Doesn't look to be older than me. Must have been stuck on the graveyard shift. That means she's new then, no wonder she looks so tired.

  
"No, also paying for gas on Number Three. Use rest that is left after the chips." I hand her a twenty dollar bill. She smiled and gave me my receipt, leaving the store now. Chips in hand, sticking my wallet back in my pocket.

  
Rustling again louder this time, putting the gas in the car. I should ask about a medication change again. I can hear footsteps now. Looked around and saw nothing. Car is filled now, time for work. Definitely bringing this up with my doctor.

  
Work isn't far, I hope that lady isn't here today. Gave me the creeps, and asked for my number. Yep, even gave me a couple pick up lines when I first started working there. Always tries to follow me too. Maybe it's just me needing that change in meds. No way someone would actually try to do that to me.

  
Parked, an excellent job if I do say so myself. The building is looking the same as ever. Eerie and like someone died there. Unlocking the door and it giving that creepy squeak, just makes this out to be like a horror story. At least no one is here. That means I can bat away shadows with a broom and no one will judge me. 

  
I mix it up tonight by going to the top floor first, and working my way down to the bottom. Checking my iPhone for some good tunes first, I need a distraction right now. Empty buildings and me don't mix, unless I have that barrier. 

  
Music filling my ears now, nothing I see other of the corner of my eyes bother me now. Not even the shadowy figures moving about in the darkness. Just me and my music. And then a tap on my shoulder ruins it.

  
I turn around looking at the lady. She's close, I'm scooting away cause I can feel her breath and she's smiling. Oh god, she's smiling. 

  
"Hey, uh need something?" My headphones out and my music off. She's giggling, I really hope that I just forgot to take my medication. I'd rather wake up knowing that this was just an attack kicking in.   
"Yes, I do." She's getting closer, the broom in my hand is keeping distance now. "Aw, don't be like that. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll play nice as long as you do." There's a glint of metal in her jacket, I'm not going to put this broom down.

  
She's frowning. "I was hoping you'd be easier, oh well-" She's bleeding. That's another knife. She's dropped to the floor, I see the man that did it. 

  
He looks like came from a horror movie. Scarred skin with white and pale brown hues. Long, thick black hair. His eyes are worse, one bright blue, the other glossed over like it had been burned. I thnk he might be blind in that eye. His face has an irritated stretch of a craved smile. Self inflicted or not, that must have been painful.

  
He looks me up and down, he's still covered in that lady's blood. I don't think I was supposed to see him, if this is even real.


	2. Fights and broken dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you going to kill me? I mean it would save you the trouble, but I mean it's going to be suspicious if there's two bodies. Or at least harder for you to dispose of them. I can do that so you don't have to, and I can deny you were ever here. So, please don't kill me? I have a test tomorrow." I'm keeping the broom between us, for what I'm about to do next I hope it doesn't break.
> 
> He's smirking, I can't tell if that's a bad sign. "What are grades that important?" Gravelly and deep, just what I expected him to sound like. 
> 
> "Yeah, they are-wait. You hear that?" I feel bad lying to him, but it should get his guard down. I hope. If not, I'll be dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter two. If you're reading this far that means you like the story. Yay. Also I referenced a song called Memories. It's by Maroon 5, please check the song, as I do not own it.

"Are you going to kill me? I mean it would save you the trouble, but I mean it's going to be suspicious if there's two bodies. Or at least harder for you to dispose of them. I can do that so you don't have to, and I can deny you were ever here. So, please don't kill me? I have a test tomorrow." I'm keeping the broom between us, for what I'm about to do next I hope it doesn't break.

He's smirking, I can't tell if that's a bad sign. "What are grades that important?" Gravelly and deep, just what I expected him to sound like.

"Yeah, they are-wait. You hear that?" I feel bad lying to him, but it should get his guard down. I hope. If not, I'll be dead.

"Hear what-" Hit him straight in the gut with my broom, and then sweep it under his legs. Jump and run, Collins! I can hear him behind me, he's probably pissed. Around the corner, skip stairs by parkour, how is he keeping up?! Right, killer. Out the door! Wait, still have broom. Put it through the handles. Run to the car!

Okay, I can hear him struggling with the door. Keys. Keys on side of leg. Opened my car's door. He's made it out the window next to the building door! Close it, lock and drive! Hope I don't get pulled over.

That was too close. Deep breathes Collins, deep breathes. Either I need a stronger dose of meds, or I actually just faced off with a psychotic killer. At least home is far enough away from my work, that there is no way he would find me again. God I need sleep, or else I'm actually going to fail that test tomorrow.

Car is shut off, keys on side of leg again. Up the stairs, opening door and locking it behind me. I still have blood on me, better change my clothes. Alright room, so let's just go over what happened.

I went to work, creepy lady was there, she either tried to kill me or kidnap me. That guy kills her in front of me. Either for the fact she was his target, or I was. I barely managed to escape him. Problem now is I'm easy to recognize. Maybe I should dye my hair? I'll decide later, I'm tired.

Bed is soft. Ceiling is disgusting. It's not even the time I usually sleep, which is midnight. It's ten pm. Oh well, I'm not going to call the cops. They don't believe me anyway. Darkness overtakes me.

….

Alarm goes off. I am up, but only for the fact I need to get up. Good thing I actually like mornings. Reflection looks off again, so it must be time for pills. Down two, and brush teeth. It will take a while for the pills to set in, so what does my mirror look like today?

Ah, the usual. Brown markings that look like someone gave me giant stitches. My hair is still white, but fluffier like a wolf's fur or something. My eyes have that sort of demonic look to them, having slit pupils, like a cat's. My teeth are sharp, very sharp. Predatory. Yep, I'm going to stop looking now. Not real, so I don't need to know anymore about it.

Done. Grab bag, keys on leg. Alright, to class I go. I have a knife hidden in my bag and my pocket. I hope that Dominic is there. Mostly because he seems to tolerate me enough. His wavy, brown hair always in that messy man bun, definitely reminds me of those hot ninjas in those action movies. His piercing blue eyes, his still growing scruff, and that perfect tan-wait, no. Collins, he doesn't swing that way. Stop thinking about him now.

Starting car now, at least I don't have to get gas. Putting on some tunes. It helps. Oh good I like this song. I feel like I strangely relate somehow. Memories, a great song. Tune fills my head, I start humming along. _'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories._ Yep, still love it. Bopping along, oh great college. Ugh, now I'm going to have to turn it off in the middle of it. Oh well. I'll listen to it later.Car parked and now I head to class.

…..

Test was done, I was able to finish it early. I wonder if Dominic will be at the cafeteria? I hope so, he's the only that I sit with anyway. The breeze is so calming. Yep, summer is definitely ending. Yes! Now I have an excuse to wear a sweater with over-sized sleeves!

Cafeteria is close now, maybe I'll catch him coming from his afternoon history class. History appreciation, I would have taken it, but not even Dominic could stop from my brain from exploding. There he is. Be cool, Collins. Be cool.

"Hey Dominic. Just got out of class?" Snuck up on him. He's smiling though, a bit nervous though. The usual.

"Hey Collins. Yeah, still sneaking up on people?" Both walking side by side now. Laughing a bit at his question. Try not to sound so nervous, Collins.

"It's not sneaking, my footsteps are just quieter. I blame track to be honest." Smiling at him, he still seems tense. I wonder if was because I laughed. Or maybe he just had a bad day? Dropping my smile, maybe I can get him to talk about what's wrong.

We got our lunches, it's been silent. Okay Collins, just ask him. Be sincere, show that you're worried about him. It'll be okay.

"Hey Dominic? You seem kinda tense. Something happen? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." He's sighing. He's looking at me, something is definitely wrong. If I hadn't taken my meds recently, I would assume this was an attack.

"Collins. I like you dude, but something about you makes me uncomfortable. I know that you're trying not to, but I think we should stop seeing each other." My heart has sunk to my stomach. I wasn't trying to come off like that. I smile gently, I'm holding back a waterfall.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that. I won't bother you anymore. I think I'll leave you be now. Goodbye, Dominic." Grab my lunch, I'm trying not to run out, my legs are working against me though. I wish that was an attack, I wish it wasn't real. I'm so sorry, Dominic.

My tears have caught up to me, I'd better hide. I get looks if I do it in public. There I can hide between the space of two buildings. I'm letting them fall now, nearly tearing out my hair, anything to relieve the pain. Why didn't he say anything?! I could have changed! Instead I lose another friend. Why?! Why, does this keep happening to me?! I'm stopping my sobbing, I need to eat.

Wait, I hear footsteps. This time I see a man at the opposite end of where I'm sitting. A yellow hoodie, and a black mask with a red stitched frown face on it. He's holding a pipe. People are in class, or at the cafeteria, they won't hear me, if he attacks.

Grabbed. I've been grabbed by someone behind me. I see a man's hand with a white cloth. The other one with the hood, is just watching this. Time for a show then.

Stomp on his foot and bite his arm that's around me. I hear his pained grunt, now grab that arm and flip him and run. This is twice I've had to do this. I don't think I got any blood in my mouth cause he did have a jacket on.

The other one is likely chasing me, in fact they both likely are. If I can round this building I can reach the office. A crowded area, they won't be able to chase me there.

Oh god, the hooded one is in front of me. Run the other way. Zig zag, and I think that's the other one. White mask with black eyes and lips, a yellow jacket. Brown hair. Dodge Collins and run. He stumbles, good maybe I can-

Falling to the ground. Ow, I see a broken pipe fall to the ground. It looks like the one the hooded guy was carrying. Why is it broken? Maybe it was old. I see the darkness consuming me, why were they after me? I see them standing over me. Black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, if you couldn't tell. Yes, Collins is feral. If you couldn't tell already.


	3. Darkness and dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's dark, I blink and it's the same. There's light at the end of what I think is a hallway? Not sure what's happening to be honest. 
> 
> Stepping closer and closer, I can hear noises? It doesn't sound like a city, more like a town. An old one. I feel my body and clothes change. My body looks different now. It's like what I see in my mirror. Why do I look like this? Light. Light surrounding me now, I hear shouts and cries. Something is happening, what is happening?
> 
> "Remind me again, why we decided to meet here?" A deep, demonic voice. It's right next to me, I'm smiling. Wait, I'm not controlling that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this one earlier cause I managed to get possessed by the inspiration ghost.

It's dark, I blink and it's the same. There's light at the end of what I think is a hallway? Not sure what's happening to be honest. 

Stepping closer and closer, I can hear noises? It doesn't sound like a city, more like a town. An old one. I feel my body and clothes change. My body looks different now. It's like what I see in my mirror. Why do I look like this? Light. Light surrounding me now, I hear shouts and cries. Something is happening, what is happening?

"Remind me again, why we decided to meet here?" A deep, demonic voice. It's right next to me, I'm smiling. Wait, I'm not controlling that.

"My friend, don't tell me you've grown bored of humans now. Where is your sense of fun? I thought you would appreciate a bit of a show." That sounds like me, I said that. But it sounds different somehow, maybe it's the wording. Or the fact I'm not controlling any of this.

I hear a scoff. "I thought you were the recluse. Last time I checked you avoided events like these." 

"Oh I don't want to miss this one, not when I was the one that caused it. And the one to make it fall apart. Witch beheadings have been the new thing after burning them went out. Watch closely, my friend." I can feel the widest grin grow upon my face.

"What do you mean-" He's quiet now, almost as if he realized something. We both watch as the witch disappeared and instead her head was replaced with a watermelon? Wait, why a watermelon?

I hear both of us laughing now, the kind of laughter you hear evil scientists do. "Oh..... You really know how to trick humans." Wait, I didn't catch that, what was he trying to call me? I don't think that was my name.

"Of course I do my friend. After all who would I be if I didn't?" I'm looking outside at me now. I turn to look at me. 

"You heard me. Who are you?" My face is gone. Suddenly the entire world starts breaking away. I am left with darkness. I hear someone's voice.

"Did Ben mess with the electricity again?!" It's a man's voice. It's smooth and deep, but there's vemon in it. I don't recognize it. Who's Ben?

My eyes open. It's bright. Too bright. Who brought the sun into the room? Ow, it hurts. My head hurts, my eyes hurt, and my legs hurt. Where am I? Shifting a bit, I can feel things in my arms, I can feel stuff on my head and my chest. I am strapped down as well. Am I in the hospital? If I am then that mean this all has been a trick my mind played on me. The dream must also be because, the meds just started kicking in. I'm closing my eyes.

"I think he's awake." Different voice. It's deep, but quieter than the other one. Kinda raspy too. He's close, I can tell even with my eyes closed.

"Well then, looks who's awake. You're certainly the resilient one. I'm surprised, nothing would suggest you anything other than being human, and yet you've seemingly proven otherwise." The first voice I heard, I can't telling if he's messing with me. I'm not opening my eyes, its way too bright. 

"What do you mean? I'm human. Where am I? If this is about another one of my attacks, please spare me the details. I'd rather not know what I did. Last time I got lost in the forest and they found me in a hole. So if you could just up my dosage that'd be great, this hasn't happened in two months so I mean, it must be just time to change the meds right?" I know I'm rambling, but yeah, pretty sure that's where I am.

It's quiet, okay that's weird. "Wait, are you guys just nurses? Sorry, I meant that for the doctor. Pretty sure they have my records. You could ask me about it if you want if you're confused." Best to ease the tension. I know not all the nurses get the files of the patients, they just take care of them.

"Where do you think you are?" The first voice. Okay, that's different. I'm not sure what to think now. This is getting awkward.

"Uh, hospital. It's where I usually end up. This is a hospital right?" Please say yes, please just tell me it's not something worse.

"No, this is an infirmary, but we are not in a hospital. I'm curious as to what you mean by attacks. Care to elaborate?" The first voice is definitely persistent. I don't want to tell them in detail about, it's always hard to explain. I guess I don't have much choice.

"Schizophrenia. I get hallucinations frequently, or attacks where I can't tell what reality is. Mine is classified as undifferentiated. Means it's vague with a lot of the symptoms. I have antipsychotics I take to calm the effects. I think I have them in my pocket." Shifting a bit, yeah they're there. In my pocket.

"Ah, I see. Do you want us to turn off the light? Your eyes have been closed while we were talking." The first voice is closer now. A little too close for comfort.

"Yeah, actually. So where did you guys find me? I mean you've obviously taken the precautions, I must have been thrashing around a lot." Chuckling, coming from the first voice. The light is off now, I'm opening my eyes.

"You really don't remember? We didn't find you, you were brought here. The straps are so you don't try to escape." Wait, brought here? So does that mean yesterday and the day before. Did-did those really happen?

I see the light hangings above me, the machines, the tools. I see who the voices belong to. The first one belongs to man with short, black hair and red eyes. He has paler skin, and is wearing a white medical mask with a smile over it. He looks like a doctor. The other one is a male with short, brown hair. He's wearing a black hoodie, and a blue mask with some sort of black goo coming out of it? I can see a bit of grey skin peeking out from under his mask.

I must be off my meds, there's no way that this possible. That must be why the dream happened, come on brain this isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. Closing my eyes. Deep breathes, Collins. Deep breathes.

"Hey, can one of you give me my meds? I'm pretty sure that, I'm starting to see things." I can't move that much, so that must mean I'm strapped down tight.

"What are you seeing?" The second one, is closer, but he sounds really quiet. I'm trying to not look at him, it's similar to how I feel when I look in the mirror the first thing in the morning. Not real, so I don't need to know the details.

"Well there's some sort of black goo coming out of your mask, and you have grey skin. Pretty sure that's not what you look like. Sorry, it's mostly just what happens when my meds are wearing off. Plus I don't think what he is saying is true. So feeling paranoid right now. As I said if you could just give me my regular dosage, that would be great." The first one stops messing with one of the machines, both of them are looking at each other.

The first one is moving over to grab them, he's looking at the label, now he's putting one of them in my mouth. I don't mind taking them dry, but it does make my throat sore. Swallowed it, well at least taking them dry helps me forget the dry throat that occurs. Should kick in, in about thirty minutes.

"I am telling the truth, the things you are seeing are real. This is what my colleague looks like-" The door is swinging open, I can see the killer I faced off with what I assume is the night before.

"Hey Smiley, is he awake yet? Cause Slender wants to see him." He still sounds the same when we met. That name is said sounds familiar, I'm sure I've never heard it before.

"Who's Slender?" He snaps in my direction. This is it. My death bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much really happened in this chapter, but however am going to say that. Do not use my book as a reference to what schizophrenia is like as though I've done my research, it's best you do you own. And if you did your research, you would notice why you can't use it as a reference.


	4. Mystery?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is your name?" Slenderman is holding out his hand to shake. Remember firm, but not hard.
> 
> "Collins. Collins Meyers." I grip his hand, I feel a burning sensation go from my hand to his and then back to mine. I think he felt it too. We both pull our hands back, a puff of smoke comes out of it. The palm of my right hand, has a mark on it now. A black circle with an x going through it. I think's a deal thing. It's disappearing now.
> 
> 'How did you do that?' That's his voice directly in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you've read this far congrats, I wasn't expecting you too, so uh have some cake. Hope you are enjoying Collins as much as I enjoy writing him.

He's staring at me, oh god what do I do? Uh, joke? No, that would make him pissed. Apologize? No, he kill someone and was going to kill me. Say nothing? Okay, that's just rude. Wait, I did ask him a question. So yeah, silent. Yep, not saying anything.

"Well, that answers my question. EJ you should probably tell Slender that he's awake." The one with the blue mask nods and then exits the room. EJ huh? Maybe it's a nickname. The killer is close now. Close enough, that I can stare at him without moving my head.

"Um, so you gonna answer my question? Or are you just going to scare me instead? Cause I'd prefer if you did the first option. Not gonna try to hit you with a broom this time, I swear. I am strapped down, so I mean your choice honestly." I keep forgetting that I'm rambling, I need to make a note to stop.

He sighing and pinching his nose. "Smiley, please tell me he didn't talk like this earlier." The first man I spoke to shook his head. I guess he's Smiley then. Very weird name, but I don't judge.

The other man groaned. "Slender is our boss, and because of you escaping me while I was on a mission, means you put my ass on the line. The only reason you're alive, is because Slender has taken interest in you." Oh, well now I feel bad. Kinda. It's weird honestly.

"Uh sorry that I didn't let you kill me then?" He glaring at me. "Sorry. I'm terrible at conversations. I'll just stop talking now." Yeah, shouldn't have said anything. He's giving me a weird look. I hear Smiley stifle a giggle.

Smiley makes the other man move and shows me another pill. "You better take this before Slender arrives, the liquid dose of it I gave you will wear off soon." I take it dry, I have feeling it's best that I do. Well I'm surprised that's what was causing the nausea, it just lessened my headache though, both of those things usually come around when the meds start kicking, so I guess I didn't question it.

"No questions? That could have been poisoned, for all you know." Smiley raises his eyebrow.

"What would have been the point for you? And thanks didn't know that those weren't just side effects." Smiley is smirking through his mask slightly.

You with how many times I've been strapped down, this is the most comfortable. I remember one time I woke up with rash on my wrists, they said I moved a lot, but I think was mainly from the wrist straps from being too tight.

"Alright, well since you're awake and Slender will be here soon, I'm going to unstrap you and remove the machinery attached to you. Please do not try what you did with Jeff." The man in the room must be Jeff then, well at least I'm getting unstrapped.

Okay he's got my wrists, now my waist, and then my legs. He's removing the IV in arm, the tape part kinda hurts, it always does. The he's removing most the wired attachments. Takes longer than I expect. I hope they have food. I could go for some food. I'm usually hungry after meds. He's done now, man that took like thirty minutes. Remember Collins sit up slowly, as usual. And the headache is back, ow.

The doors open. EJ comes back with a really tall being, he is faceless. His skin is white and he is wearing a suit. He bends down to step into the room.

"Uh, have we met before? You kinda look familiar. Are you Slender?" The room is quiet. I said that aloud didn't I? Well this is awkward.

"Yes indeed it is. I don't think we've met before, but I am a topic on conspiracy theories. Yes, I am Slender. I am also known as Slenderman." His voice is loud, it echoes in my head. Wait, he responded to my thought. Shit, he can hear thoughts?! Oh god, uh if you're listening I'm sorry, please just ignore what I'm thinking for both our sakes. Though, I feel like I don't remember him from conspiracy theories, it's like history but worse.

"I do not read thoughts, unless I am unsure of your intentions. Do you know why you are here?" Well that's comforting kinda, at least my intentions are readable. Or at least I hope they are.

"Uh, cause I whacked someone with a broom?" Not gonna lie, that's exactly what happened. I'm here cause of broom smacking, and possibly something else that I don't know of. The room is silent again.

"Yes and no. You've shown potential in your skills of combat, with being able to escape Jeff and my proxies, Masky and Hoodie. However, there is another reason. What do you remember before you went unconscious?" Huh, I wasn't expecting that. Uh let's see, what was it? Crap, I'm having trouble remembering, come on Collins, what do you remember?

"Uh I remember right before I was hit with something, I don't remember what. The entire fight is kinda a blur now to be honest." It is true, but you know I was pretty sure I remember what it was earlier. Well that's my terrible memory to be honest.

"Understood. My proxy Hoodie said it was a pipe, however he said it broke in half upon hitting you upside the head." A pipe? I guess that makes sense, anything on hand works. Must have been an old pipe though, there's no way that would break in half like that otherwise.

"You are right, it does seem impossible. Dr. Smiley, what data have managed to collect?" He is a doctor! I knew it! Wait, he read my thoughts again, fuck.

"Not much, there's some sort of interference with the machines, I have taken a blood sample, but that will take a while to process." Makes sense he would take a blood sample, the doctors I've been with have, but they did say they had trouble finding them later, hope that doesn't happen with Dr. Smiley though.

"Understood. Since you already are aware of us, I am going to give you two choices. After we figure out what you are I can erase your memories so you can live your old life, or you could work for me and keep your memories, but you can never go back to your old life. So, what will it be?" The options he gave are both well, hard.

Let's see, think Collins. Okay, so going back to old life with no memories, means nothing really would change, my memory loss would be seen as I had an attack. But Dominic....I would have to face college alone. I live in a crappy apartment, so I will still be tired all the time, because of work and meds. Kinda boring let's be honest, and I mean this is the first time, I'm not seeing things without my meds.

So option one. Option two. Working for him could as well be like Jeff's job, with the fact the only potential I've shown, is whacking people with sticks, and fighting off a full grown man by biting him. Yeah, I guess that counts in that category. I would have a fresh start, other than the awkward interactions I've just had. Working for him probably pays higher, cause basically assassin. You know I honestly wouldn't mind not being able to go back. I'm a freak in society's eyes anyway. Okay, decided.

"I'll work for you, but as long as you don't try to experiment on me. I'd rather not, become a science experiment." I don't think that's too much to ask, if it is. Well, still won't let it happen. Eugh, just thinking about that makes me shudder.

"What is your name?" Slenderman is holding out his hand to shake. Remember firm, but not hard.

"Collins. Collins Meyers." I grip his hand, I feel a burning sensation go from my hand to his and then back to mine.

I think he felt it too. We both pull our hands back, a puff of smoke comes out of it. The palm of my right hand, has a mark on it now. A black circle with an x going through it. I think's a deal thing. It's disappearing now.

'How did you do that?' That's his voice directly in my head. Sorry, what do you mean? He's showing his palm of his right hand to me now, it has a mark on it too. It's not like mine. It's an black eye with arrows coming out of it. It's disappearing now as well. Wait, can I make deals?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's a twist ey? Hope you are going to continue to read, cause now things are starting to get interesting.


	5. Introductions, you know the boring part.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where and what am I doing now? Well, I'm going to be introduced to the rest of the residents of the mansion, who are also my new colleagues. Which likely are killers. Well this day is going to be fun. At least other contractees can't attack each other, unless it's for training, but that works cause that means they can't kill me. Yay, I will live, hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This the part with the introductions and descriptions. All the needed stuff, so we can move on to the other chapters in peace. You may skip this chapter if you please.

Well after the whole mark thing went down, I ended up learning about a new thing. Pact marks, which is apparently what I had made by accident. Pact marks are made by powerful beings, who make deals with a person in exchange of their soul, or a temporary mark for a certain thing. A pact mark is supposed to be a binding thing, as it binds the person who made the deal to the contractor. Thus the mark appears on the person, the more bonded the person is to the contractor the bigger the mark is and the more control they have over the contractee, the person who made the deal with them. So basically working for Slenderman means he owns my soul now, but since I made a mark on him that means he can't break his side of the deal or else it breaks the contract apparently? It was really confusing, and both of us don't how I have my own pact mark.

So that happened. And well it kinda made things awkward for a bit, but Dr. Smiley decided to take another blood sample. I was also told I was going to need frequent check ups from him and EJ for my schizophrenia and this.

Where and what am I doing now? Well, I'm going to be introduced to the rest of the residents of the mansion, who are also my new colleagues. Which likely are killers. Well this day is going to be fun. At least other contractees can't attack each other, unless it's for training, but that works cause that means they can't kill me. Yay, I will live, hopefully. Slenderman explained a lot of things that I needed to do. Like the fact I guessed was I'm good for a lot the stuff that is for missions, that includes killing. Jeff mentioned how I don't seem to be phased by it, which is why that even came up. He also gave me several maps to the mansion, because the hallways change patterns, so I have to memorized those, else I get lost. He explained what the schedule was, times meals are held, what time we are to be in our rooms for sleep, work schedule, etc. Last thing, which apparently is Jeff's punishment, is I have to train with him. So I got a mentor, that I don't think likes me all that much.

That's probably because of the broom incident, which isn't as bad as the last one. I just know it's going to be awkward to meet the guy I technically bit. I really hope that the other people don't know about those things. I mean Slenderman, Jeff, Smiley, EJ and the two guys Masky and Hoodie know, but that's because one is the boss, two are the doctors, two of them are the people who had that happened to them, and one was present for one of them. I guess, I just don't want my first impression to be, the guy who bites people and smacks them with brooms.

Alright, we are entering the living room now, where everyone has been called to meet me. I really hope that, I can just get introduced without having to say much, and nobody says anything about the incidents. It's a rather large room, with couches and a TV. There's twelve people in here. Twelve. Oh boy, here we go.

"Alright, I'm sure you all know why you were called here. We have a new member." Oh god, he is motioning for me to come forward. Step forward, Collins. "Please introduce yourself." Shit, okay keep it short, don't ramble.

"Hi, uh I'm Collins. It's nice to um meet you all?" Geez, why did I make it sound like a question? They probably hate me from that. No Collins, they don't even know you yet. I'm sure they don't mind you. Come on you're twenty-two, people don't hate people when they first meet them, that comes with time. Remember that what was your therapist said, and it is true.

"Alright, now please everyone else introduce yourself to Collins." Slenderman didn't seem to be bothered by my introduction, so that's a good sign. What a relief, I was afraid he was going to motion me to continue.

A little girl is walking up to me, she has long, wavy brown hair, and green eyes. Pink dress. There looks like there is dried blood on her face, coming down in drips from her forehead, she doesn't seem in pain from it though. She's carrying a teddy bear.

"Hi, I'm Sally. This is Charlie." She's holding up her bear to show me, she seems nervous around me too. I can sense it.

"It's nice to meet you both. It's okay, if you're nervous, I'm nervous too." She's smiling at me now, I think that helped her a bit. Another person is walking up to me. A woman, long, messy brown hair. She has one green eye, the other has a clock in it? I'm trying to not think how much that must have hurt. Green jacket and white T-shirt.

"I'm Natalie. So I hear you're the one, who bested Jeff with a broom." Oh no, she probably hates me. "That was awesome and funny as fuck, you gotta show me how you did it sometime." She's ruffling my hair.

She liked it? I'm feeling heat rushing to my cheeks. I hear Jeff groaning and a bunch of giggles from other people. Okay that means, they all know about what happened to Jeff. I just hope they don't know about the biting thing. A man walks up to me, he's twitching every now and then. He has short, fluffy brown hair, and brown eyes. Yellow goggles on head, brown hoodie with grey striped sleeves. He has a hole on the side of his mouth.

"Hi, I'm T-Toby. You're the guy t-that bit Masky." And there's goes my hope of not being associated with those events.

"Well, um in my defense. He's the one that grabbed me." That just slipped out, oh my god. Another man walks up behind Toby, he's the guy I bit, but without the mask. So I can see he has sideburns and brown eyes.

"Excuse Toby, he wasn't supposed to mention that. I'm Tim." He's holding his hand to me. Firm, but not hard. No burning that's good. I can see the bandages.

"Does it still hurt? I mean I did bite pretty hard." He's looking at me. Collins, you should have shut up.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. You were doing what you needed to do to escape." He doesn't seem to be mad, he definitely looks tired though.

The other man coming up now must be Hoodie, or he has a different name. Maybe it's like one of my friend's thing. I hope then that Masky, isn't the one actually sore about the biting thing. He has short, brown hair and a bit of a scruff.

"Hi....I'm Brian." He's kinda quiet, I don't mind. I'm giving him a small smile. He smiles back at me the same way.

One man and a boy? The man looks like a jack in the box, but scarier. He has black fluffy hair, that goes to his shoulders and black eyes. The boy has blond hair, eyes with red irises surrounded by black, and there's blood coming out of them. Green tunic and hat.

"I'm Ben. You're the janitor that kicked Jeff's but? Nice." He sounds a bit glitchy, like a computer glitch. Yep, I'm the janitor. Ugh.

"I'm Laughing Jack, but you can call me LJ. It's nice to meet you too." The man is holding his hand out to shake. Firm, but not hard.

Two men, one with short black hair, the other has black hair that goes to his shoulders. The one with the shorter hair, has blue eyes. Blue jacket with a smiley pin on it. The other has yellow eyes with no irises, just yellow, and they are slightly glowing. He has grey skin. Grey beanie and dark grey jacket.

"I'm Puppeteer and this is Helen." The guy with longer hair, is pointing to the man with shorter hair. Helen just nods at me.

Another man comes up now. He has red hair that goes to his shoulders, and green eyes with black marks under them. Dress jacket with white fluff on the collar, a red waistcoat and a black and white striped top hat.

"My name is Jason. It's a pleasure to meet you." Another hand to shake. Firm, but not hard. I'm giving him a nod. Please just let there be only a few people left, I'm already tired from the meds.

Two more people, a man and a woman. The man has short, brown hair and green eyes. He has what looks to be stitches across his face in several places. Ouch. Why is there so many people here with things that look painful? The woman has long, black hair and what looks to be, a white mask with completely black eyes.

"I'm Jane, this is Liu. Welcome to the family." The woman is pointing to the man. Woman is holding out her hand to shake. Firm, but not hard. The man is doing the same. Firm, but not hard. Finally, that is everyone. I'm tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read through this I congrats you actually didn't mind that as much as I did. Next chapter will be better promise.


	6. Getting kicked for food.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright today is the day, I start my training with Jeff. Remember Collins, getting out of bed is important. Here we go one, two, three. And I'm on the floor. Well that means I overshot. Ow. Okay get up slowly, slowly. Too fast, spinning head. Now standing, get ready for day. Two pills downed, and one should take effect in thirty minutes. Okay remember, training with Jeff is in the training room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone ready for more weird things? No? Good.

Alright today is the day, I start my training with Jeff. Remember Collins, getting out of bed is important. Here we go one, two, three. And I'm on the floor. Well that means I overshot. Ow. Okay get up slowly, slowly. Too fast, spinning head. Now standing, get ready for day. Two pills downed, and one should take effect in thirty minutes. Okay remember, training with Jeff is in the training room.

Hello reflection, haven't missed you at all. Yep, ignoring you, completely. Brushing teeth. I wonder how Jeff teaches, I hope I won't be too much of a bother. Alright don't need shower, cause I already took one last night. Brush hair, and done. I think a T-shirt and shorts works for training, easier movements. Plus I don't want to change my clothes anyway, they are as comfy as fuck. 

Breakfast time, I'm feeling a bit nauseous now, but that will pass. Means pill is in effect. Okay, remember....something about Jeff that I completely forgot. What was it? C'mon Collins, remember. 

Well, maybe I can ask at breakfast? I don't think I want to ask Jeff, would seem like I forgot something he asked me to remember on purpose. Maybe Slenderman? He might be too busy, wait I can have him read my thoughts. But I don't want to ask directly, maybe just repeat his name in my head, until he responds? That's sounds annoying though. 

"Collins? Are you good?" Wait what? Jane? "You've been standing there for like five minutes since you came down." Shit, I did not realize that I have been standing in front of the dining table. Sit down, Collins. 

"Yeah, uh I'm good. Sorry lost in thought I guess. How are you?" Good averting attention, thank god that not everyone is at the table yet. I'm sitting next to Jane now. She's smiling at me. 

"I'm good as well. I heard you are training with Jeff today." That's sounds like what I'm forgetting, but it's not quite it. Maybe I can ask? Wouldn't hurt right? 

"Uh yeah I am, um Jane can I ask you something?" She's nodding okay, ask- and there's the food. "Um, you know what? Food's here. So I'll ask later." She's shrugging. Time to eat, then. 

Last night's dinner was really good. Breakfast is even better. Apparently Slenderman was cooking today and last night, he really does not disappoint with his cooking. I'm in food heaven. Eggs benedict, bacon, and pancakes! Settle Collins, you're kicking your legs like an excited kid on Christmas. 

I'm looking at Slenderman now, I'm wondering how he eats if he has no mouth. Does absorb the food? Can he make a temporary mouth for eating? I mean, I can see him clearly holding a cup, and drinking it from right now, problem is, it's hidden behind the newspaper he's reading. Though now that I think about it, he looks like a proper gentleman right now, his posture is straight and is making polite conversation. It's kinda cute actually-

Collins, no. What am I thinking?! Why did I just think he was cute?! He's my employer and I'm pretty sure he's an eldritch being, meaning he's could be like hundreds of years old. That means he way too old for me. Doesn't matter if he has that gentlemanly charm I like, no crushing on him, period. Stop staring at him, Collins, and finish eating your food.

Alright done. "Okay Collins, what did you want to ask me?" Good, Jane is asking again. Ready to ask in 3, 2, 1.

"Jane, we gotta get going, remember we got an early mission today." Natalie just interrupted me, darn it. 

"Sorry, Collins guess we'll talk later." I'm nodding, though I feel the urge to scream right now. She's leaving with Natalie now, guess it can't be helped. 

Ugh, I just wish I knew what I was forgetting. It's something to do with Jeff, I just have no idea what it is. C'mon Collins, they went over it yesterday. I'm sure I remember what it was this morning. Maybe, it wasn't something that actually happened. Maybe, it's just my brain playing tricks on me again. Maybe this whole time I've been stressing over nothing.

"Collins, are you alright?" Wait, Slenderman is talking to me. Answer, Collins. 

"Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?" Please don't tell me I got lost in thought again. It's happened once and it was embarrassing enough as it was. 

"You've been sitting there for a while, and everyone else has already left the table." Shit, not again! Ugh, me and my stupid thoughts. Stand up, Collins. Not that fast, Collins. You don't even know what you're supposed to be doing today, Collins.

"Collins, is something wrong?" He's standing now too. Even without a face, I can tell he looks concerned. Time to tell the truth then, it's better than nothing. I hope he doesn't think less of me.

"Yes, sir I know I was supposed to do um, something today with Jeff, I just can't remember what. Is um my disorder causing fake memory, or am I actually forgetting something well, important?" Either way, I hope that wasn't asking too much.

"Oh, is that what is bothering you?" I'm nodding, please don't say it's ridiculous. "You're training with Jeff today in the training room, in a couple of minutes." Oh good, I was forgetting something. Wait-

"In a couple minutes?!" That was too loud. "Sorry, um I just don't which hallway pattern we have right now, and I may have left the maps back in my room." Collins, you're starting to ramble and panic. 

"Collins, it's alright. I can take you over there. Just calm down, okay?" Right, calm. Breathe in and out. He's able to take me there. 

"Are you sure it's not too much trouble?" He's nodding, good I'm not being much of a bother. "Alright then, let's go." 

"Take my hand, okay?" Weird request, but okay. Not too hard Collins. Okay when are we-

"Whoa, what? How?" We are right at the door of the training room. He's chuckling, he knew this was going to happen.

"I have the ability to teleport." Wow, neat. I'm feeling heat rush to my cheeks, and an escaped giggle leaving my mouth. "Now if you need anything else I will be in my office. Good luck with your training." And he's gone. Well time to train then.

The room is rather large and empty, I see Jeff across the way. "Took you long enough, did you forget we were training today or something?" I'm not going to answer that.

"I'd um rather not say. Let's just get to training." He's brushing it off, good no more awkward questions. 

"Alright, since you seem good with a weapon in your hand, let's see how you are without one." Alright he's getting in position, better do the same. 

Right, we are starting now. Watch his movements, Collins. Moving around each other, he striking first. Dodge, Collins. Okay, on the other side, now strike. 

Ow, he's grabbing my hand. Kick, Collins. It worked, now strike- Ah! He's grabbed my arm, pulling me down with him. Ow, we're wrestling now, he's really strong. I can't get a grip- And I'm pinned.

"Not bad, for a newbie." Jeff is smirking. He's letting go and helping me up. "Now that we know what you're capable of without a weapon, we can work with that. Let's do some basic blocking." Alright, blocking. I'm nodding. 

"Alright, I'm going to try and kick you, what you need to do is to block it. I'll start slow and get faster the more you block." Okay, that's not what I was expecting. 

"Are you uh, sure this is safe?" Jeff is laughing at that. I'm laughing with him a bit, not that I want to.

"It's just a kick, it's not like I'm using a knife on you. All you have to do is block." Okay, easy enough. Who am I kidding? Not that easy.

He's starting to get in position, match it. Ready, and there's the first one, not very slow, but I managed to grab it. Alright, ready. Next kick, still not very slow, but I caught it. Next one, ready. This is fast, yes I caught it! Next- 

Wait, that smell. It smells familiar, have I had that before? I feel like I've had it-

Ow, I'm on the floor. "Damn it Collins, why didn't you block?" That's Jeff, I'm back in the present now. Wait, present? 

My nose is bleeding, I've been kicked haven't I? Ow, he kicks hard. I'm holding my nose, Jeff is helping me up.

"Sorry, I got distracted. I thought I smelled something I know from the kitchen-" Wait that's too much information. Jeff probably didn't want to know that. 

He's smirking. "Wow, you have a one track mind. How you even smelled the kicthen from here, is weird. Good thing you mentioned food, because I'm hungry too. Let's get you to Smiley first though." Oh good, he's not mad. If my nose didn't hurt so bad, I would have questioned it. 

...

Smiley managed to patch up my nose, he said it was broken, and should heal in a couple days. Jeff had joked with me that the only reason why I had gotten an injury was food. We laughing about it now.

"Seriously though, no more letting food distract you. If that happens in the city, you'd be dead." I'm giggling about that and nodding. "Good, now let's eat the thing that distracted you, you said it smelled familiar, what is it?" Jeff and I are going down the stairs from the hallway to the kicthen now.

"I don't know. I can't remember what exactly it is, I just feel like I've smelled it before. Maybe some family member, made it for me, when I was a kid?" I'm shrugging. It's true I have no idea what I even remember smelling that from. It did smell heavenly though.

We get to the kicthen to find Tim and Slenderman there. They have baked something, that's where the smell is coming from. 

"Ah Jeff, Collins, both done with training for now?" Slenderman is wiping his hands on his apron. It's pink. He looks adorable- No Collins, not cute. He's your boss. Stop it. 

"Yeah, Collins got distracted by your guy's baking, and got kicked. Both of us are hungry, so we thought we'd see what he got distracted by. What even did you make? Collins says he recognizes it." Jeff retells the story nonchalantly as I hoped he would. 

Both Slenderman and Tim are looking at each other. "Well, it's Vendetta Pie. Collins are you sure you recognize it?" Tim looks nervous, I'm going to answer his question honestly though. 

"Well uh yeah, it actually it smells really good. I think I've had it as a kid, maybe one of my family members made it once? Not sure though." Tim looks shocked. Wait, I rambled too much didn't I?

"Collins, this is a demonic recipe. Meaning it was made by demons." Wait, I'm not a demon, I'm a human. Then how do I know what it is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins got kicked and also how does he know? Is he a demon or not?


	7. Friendship and love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got my daily checkup with added things to it because of what happened. Dr. Smiley is reviewing over the information he has gathered now. It took hours of testing and I'm hungry again. I hope I can still have the pie after this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, title says it all. Read please.

I got my daily checkup with added things to it because of what happened. Dr. Smiley is reviewing over the information he has gathered now. It took hours of testing and I'm hungry again. I hope I can still have the pie after this.

"It doesn't make any sense. I've been reviewing over the physical scans, and nothing suggests you being anything other than human." Dr. Smiley is slamming down his clipboard.

"That's good, right?" Dr. Smiley is groaning. Well I think I've made him mad.

"No, not good, not in the slightest. You've had a pipe break from hitting you upside the head, your nose is seemingly healing faster than normal, and you can smell things from the kitchen from the training room. Tell me none of that sounds normal to you." He's close, sitting on the bed and scooting away now.

"Well for one, the pipe was likely old. Second, I'm still in my prime, so of course it's healing faster. Three smell carries, many smells carry across distances, sometimes even greater. If nothing is coming up on the physical scans, then that means I am human. So yeah, all that sounds normal to me." I can't believe I just flat out proved a doctor wrong. He's pinching his nose.

"Well, how do you know a demonic dish? That's not something that is shared among humans." EJ is talking, oh my god, he scared the crap out of me. Right, still don't have an answer for that. Wait-

"I am adopted. So, it's not me who is the demon. It could be one of my parents or both. They could have made it when I was younger, and I'm only remembering it now, because it was made again." I'm right, I think I'm right. That's the only possible explanation. 

"He is right, if he is adopted, then his parents could have put some sort of protection spell on him, being demons and what not." Dr. Smiley doesn't look like he believes that. Jeff is on my side though.

"Fine. You're in healthy condition otherwise. While I have my doubts on you being fully human, I'll put them aside for now. You're free to go, Mr Collins." He's being formal. I hope he's not mad at me. Who am I kidding, of course he is.

We're heading back to the dining room, it is after lunch, but Slenderman is letting me have my lunch now. It's silent.

"Hey, you good?" Jeff is talking, he looks a bit concerned, not something I was expecting. Maybe it's a good time, to not lie.

"Can I tell you the truth?" Jeff looks a bit unnerved, but is nodding. "No, not really. Do you think, Dr. Smiley hates me? I mean I did argue with him, y'know with the whole me not being human. I just don't think, I'm not anything other than human. Y'know?" I rambled again, damn it. Why did I chose to be open?

"I don't think Smiley hates you. You got on his nerves, and pointed out that his theory had holes. You stepped on his toes, so he probably just dislikes you right now. He'll get over it eventually. Now, you need some lunch, after all those stupid tests right?" I'm nodding, Jeff's right. He's giving me a smile, I can tell it's genuine. 

"You know despite how much you ramble, you're not that bad. Just don't try whacking me with a broom again, deal?" He has his arm around my shoulder. 

"Only if you don't try to stab me." He's laughing at that. Ack, I'm in a hold. He's got me under his arm. 

"Oh is that how it is?" I'm getting a noogie. "Nice try kid, but in training knives are allowed." He's letting go. 

"Kid? I'm twenty two." He laughing even more. My hair is ruffled, probably looks like a bird. A very fluffy bird. 

"Twenty two? Seriously, you act like a teen." He's lightly punching my arm. Hurts a bit, but it's okay. 

"Hey, age is a construct. It's made up so people have a sense of time. You act like a teen too, y'know." I hope that wasn't too harsh. 

"Heh, still older than you. So I can call you kid all I want. Since when did you get confident?" He's right, I guess I just didn't think about it.

"I guess, I'm comfortable. I mean you did stand up for me twice. I'll be honest, most people don't like hanging around me. Somehow I make them feel uncomfortable. My last friend Dominic, actually stopped being friends with me, right before I got kidnapped by you guys, for that reason. I don't know what I did, to make him feel like that. Sorry, uh was that too much?" He stopped, after I mentioned Dominic.

"Dude, that sounds rough. Want me to kill him for you?" Jeff's question sounds serious. 

"What? No. It was probably something I did on accident. I mean I did have a crush on him, and I tried getting over it, cause he didn't swing that way. He probably caught hint of that. I can't hide crushes that well." I feel heat rushing to my cheeks, only because of who I'm thinking of. I thought I wouldn't get one again, but I did.

"You know even with having a crush, he didn't sound like a friend you should have. I'll be honest you do have a creepy air around you, but most of us do anyway, so you fit right in. Now let's get food!" I feel my blush grow, I really wasn't expecting that. 

"Yeah, let's go get food." I guess he's right, it's ironic that I fit in with killers, ghosts, and demons. More than I fit in normal human beings. 

...

Alright I've had lunch, Jeff invited me to play games with Ben. So far, I've been losing miserably. Ben and Jeff are laughing at how much I suck. 

"Dude, how have you never played this? This is a classic." Ben just shot me again. The dude's a gremlin sniper, I swear.

"I have, I just have been doing school and several jobs. So I'm out of practice- How are you sniping me?! I'm behind cover!" Jeff is laughing really hard at Ben kicking my ass. 

"Heh, I can see your armor from a mile away. And your 'cover' is child's play." How Ben even can focus on gaming, and talking with multiple people is beyond me. 

"You're a child." That slipped out, my god not again. Collins, you should have shut up. Ben snipes me again. 

"Then you are an old man. Just found your hiding spot." Ben is smirking as he opens heavy fire. I die again, ugh. He didn't seem to mind my comment. 

"How did you even do that? That was the best hiding spot on the map." I'm handing my controller to Jeff, maybe he can beat Ben. 

"I know all the maps like the back of my hand. Also if you don't want to get sniped, you move spots." Ben starts kicking Jeff's but, too but at a less frequent rate. 

"Dinner is ready." That's Slenderman. Yes, food. I wondered cooked dinner, I hope it was Slender. Not because he's- No Collins. It's because he makes really good food. That's it nothing else. Noting else. That apron was really cute though. So cute. Stop it, Collins.

"Hey, Collins?" That's Jeff, what did I do? "You're blushing." Shit. Mentioning it made it worse.

"I'm just thinking of someone- It's not Dominic I swear, I'm over that guy." The heat rising to my cheeks, is even worse than before. 

"So that means you got a crush on someone else?" Jeff is smirking. Oh no, so is Ben. What are they going to do? 

"W-wait, Collins you h-have a crush?!" Toby is on me, I'm letting out a weird sound. Which all of them are laughing at now. 

"Who is it?" Nope, I'm not answering Ben's question. They'll judge me for it. I'm shaking my head. "What, is it one of us or something?" 

"What no! You guys are attractive- Not in that sense. Just, ugh! I'm not saying!" More laughter, I'm pretty sure I'm a tomato now. 

"So we are attractive? Collins are you admitting you're gay?" Ben is nudging my arm. I'm covering my face with my hands.

"I'm not gay! I'm pan!" That slipped out, but it's true. I am attracted to anyone really, so everyone is attractive to me. I do have a preference, as anyone does. 

"Wow, out of the closet. Aw, but that means it could be anyone now. Unless if you tell us." Jeff has his arm around my shoulder. 

"Nope! I'm not saying, and besides it wouldn't work anyway. Doesn't matter if he's cute, there's no way it would work out." It's true. Me and Slenderman? No way.

"So it's a guy? Ben, you owe me ten bucks." Wait they were making bets? Yep, Ben just handed him a ten. I let that drop by accident. Walk away, Collins. 

Alright, at the table. "Aw, don't be like that. If you want flirting lessons, Ben can teach you." I nearly choked on my food. I'm sitting next to them, right now. 

"I do not need flirting lessons. I'm not even going to try to flirt. I get what you guys are trying to do, but it won't work out trust me." Back to eating food. 

"What wouldn't work out?" Crap, Slenderman entered the room at the last part. Collins, calm yourself! 

"Uh, um. It's kinda hard to e-explain. So uh, I don't think you want to know." The blush on my cheeks is still there, and I'm a mess. 

"Alright then, if it is, you don't have to say." He's so calm. While I'm such a frazzled mess. Yeah, there's no way it would work out. I see the looks on the other three. Oh no, they know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins, has a crush on Slender. If it wasn't obvious before it is now. So Collins and Slender sitting in a tree, not kissing yet cause this a slow burn. Pretty sure that the boys, will know how to help get this ball rolling though.


	8. A Rather Rough Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, it's funny how you mentioned you're a forgetful person. It reminded me how many times you keep getting lost in the mansion." I am rolling my eyes, as if earlier today wasn't proof enough. "Other than that, you also keep forgetting your chores. Remember how Tim had to drag you when he found you wandering?"
> 
> "When did that happen? I thought I've only been here for a couple days?" It's true that I had a settling point before starting training, but I don't remember that happening. Out of thought, Collins focus. Jeff looks shocked, Ben has stopped playing his game, and Toby looks incredibly worried. Now I'm confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins has a rather rough time in this chapter. Updating after some time due to college kicking me in the shins.

Why did I have to look at them? Dinner was awkward, because of the teasing, and the fact of their shared looks. Right now I've been pulled aside to Toby's room, and being 'questioned'. I want to curl up in a ball, and hide under a dark bed forever. 

"So, you have the hots for a slenderbeing?" Jeff's leaning against the wall, and seems unfazed by this. I shake my head, I don't have a crush on him, I do not have a crush.

"We saw the way you acted around him at dinner, even if it's slight, you still do." Ben stated that, without even looking up from his game on his DS. If only I had a book with me, then I could focus on that instead of this.

"That doesn't mean anything. And even if I did, which I don't, it wouldn't matter in the end. Because it wouldn't work out, mostly because he's immortal." If I keep telling myself that, then these feelings will fade. 

"We were only teasing. Why are you getting so worked up over it?" Jeff scoffs, he has crossed his arms as well. Toby is looking at me a bit concerned too.

"I-Well-um, I don't know? I guess, I really don't where it came from, it also came kinda fast too. I mean first I meet him, and well he looked familiar. Now I get incredibly flustered and nervous when he's around. It's like, I dunno-I just feel like I'm forgetting something. Which is weird right? I mean, I'm usually a forgetful person, but now it feels like I'm more forgetful than I should be. Am I just making this bigger than it is?" I am sighing, I am laying on Toby's bed at the moment. 

Toby is sitting beside me, he's clearing his throat. "H-hey do you need hugs?" I feel heat go to my cheeks as I nod. 

He wraps me in an embrace, usually he gives the short hug before breakfast, but this one is longer. The first time I really take note of how much his body jerks and twitches. I know he can't control it, and I understand that better than anyone. He also hugs tighter with longer hugs, it's not too bad, I don't mind. Darn now I don't want to let go.

"D-don't want to let go e-either?" Why did he have to mention it? Wait-I guess it's not awkward if we're both doing it.

"Y-yeah, um maybe we should now? I don't want to make things awkward." Jeff is giggling, and on that note, we both are letting go. Jeff is moving, and now he's sitting next to me on the bed. 

"You know, it's funny how you mentioned you're a forgetful person. It reminded me how many times you keep getting lost in the mansion." I am rolling my eyes, as if earlier today wasn't proof enough. "Other than that, you also keep forgetting your chores. Remember how Tim had to drag you when he found you wandering?"

"When did that happen? I thought I've only been here for a couple days?" It's true that I had a settling point before starting training, but I don't remember that happening. Out of thought, Collins focus. Jeff looks shocked, Ben has stopped playing his game, and Toby looks incredibly worried. Now I'm confused.

"Collins. You've been here for two weeks." Wait-Two weeks?! I knew I was forgetful, but not that forgetful! Calm down, Collins. You're panicking, and that doesn't help you. I feel Jeff's hand on my shoulder.

"Collins, I think you need to see Smiley again. Toby, Ben, can you guys help him there? I have a mission tonight." They are both nodding. We all are exiting Toby's room, Jeff goes in the opposite direction. I hope that this can be fixed.

......

Smiley had done more scans, which took several more hours. Now I am in bed. The moon is bright out tonight. I can't sleep now after what Smiley had said. 

"I can't find anything that could cause memory lapses, other than your medication. I suggest trying to lower the dosage, and see if anything changes. It's going to be slow, so the difference might not be as noticeable at first." Smiley had said that, in a serious tone. 

He had previously shown me the scans, and asked me a lot of questions relating to memory. I mentioned how my dosage used to be higher when I was child, and yeah now I can't remember anything from it, except a few small things.

I'm really unsure how bad my withdrawal is going to be, my parents told me that it was really bad when I was a kid. Maybe my brain's chemistry is now changing, and that's why this is happening? I really don't know. Well, I hope I can sleep tonight without nightmares.

I never thought, I would think about how much comfier the beds are here. Soft and cushiony, I wonder how I get out of bed each morning. Maybe less meds wouldn't be so bad? Collins, if you keep thinking about it, you're not going to get any sleep at all.

Ugh! The more I toss and turn, the more restless I feel. That's it, I'm heading downstairs for a glass of warm milk, not going to try alcohol due to meds. Meds and alcohol are bad together. Grabbing maps just to not forget where I'm going, hopefully. No need to wake someone up for my problems.

Okay, use the windows of the hallway to see the map. Now which one does it look like? I'm going to assume the third one just so I have an option. Quietly now, don't want to wake up the others-

That was a window opening. Nearby, I think. Could be my ears fooling me, but this could be like how I met Jeff. Just check, Collins, no harm in checking. Around the corner. Nothing. No windows opened, must have been my head playing tricks on me again. 

Right, back to my quest. To get myself a drink, so I can sleep. Glad I didn't say that out loud, would have been hard to explain, and plus it sounds like I'm getting booze. Collins, out of head. Onward.

Alright, says a right turn. Then a left? I hate how these halls look the same. I feel like I'm going in circles. Okay right, left, right? Or was it left, right, right? Ah! I'm getting confused. Focus, and think. By the map it should be right, left, left. Okay, if I follow that I should get to the living room. The living room is usually close by to the kitchen. Aha! I did it! Easy as-

That was glass shattering. Came from the hall. Okay, calm down, and check I'm sure it's nothing-What the hell?! EJ? Who are these people? EJ is being held down by ropes, held by two men. Green robes and hoods are covering their other features, but that big symbol on their head looks familiar. I don't have time for deep thought, I gotta free EJ. 

First guy lunges at me, the other is still holding EJ down. Dodge, now sweep. Down he goes. If I can get EJ free, then these two will become less of a problem.  
Ow-first guy right. Grabbed my leg while I was thinking. Face kick, EJ is struggling more, and the other guy can't hold much longer. Good, but what do I do about this one? He's chasing me, I've got him distracted. 

Kitchen, maybe a knife? Oh god, is this really how my first kill is gonna go? Ah! He's right by the counter. Sorry Slender, I'm going to break one of the good plates. 

Slammed on his head, left hook. Don't have time for knife, big glass shard will do. Over the counter, and stab, keeping stabbing! Another stab, just to be sure. He's gone limp, blood is pouring onto the carpet. A lot more blood than I thought for being stabbed in the neck. 

I can hear a horrible crunching noise from the hall, with the other guy's scream. Well if my kill didn't wake up the other residents, that likely did. I need to sit down. Sit by the counter, yep that works.

I can see the symbol better now, it's very faded though and it looks like as if it's been changed. It looks like someone tried to make a moon on it's side, and failed miserably. If I wasn't in complete shock by my first kill, I would be laughing. My hands are covered in blood, my pajamas got some of his blood too. Which sucks, cause I liked these ones. 

Now I hear the footsteps, and lights are coming on. EJ, is coming into the room from his kill. Okay, um this is a bit awkward though. And I just waved at him. On the floor, covered in blood, dead guy next to me, and I just wave. Ugh, why. I'm not sure if I'm going to sleep tonight after this. 

EJ just looks confused. Now he's looking at the body. "First kill?" I don't know why, but that made me giggle. Maybe it's the setting, or maybe it's because the hysteria is settling in. I think I just made EJ more confused, but I don't really know nor care, right now.

Well, I was supposed to kill. So, I guess I got my feet wet. Why aren't I feeling worse though? I thought with first kills, you're supposed to feel rather conflicted. Then again, it was in self defense. The other residents are filling into the kitchen now. But I'm not focused on them, I'm focused on the guy I just killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His first kill, and people breaking in? Interesting. Also, it seems like his memory has gotten worse, and he's not too happy about that. Read the next chapter to find out more of what Collins denies.


	9. Curiosity and music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blanket makes this seat super comfy. Tim is sitting in the other one, and reading the newspaper again. I can hear music now, it's piano? Well, the map did say there was a music room. It's funny how familiar it sounds. I'm tired though, so it's soothing. Comfy, soft music, and darkness.

It's been week from my first kill, I think? People have been trying to keep me a bit more aware on the time. I guess it's safe to say I got a break for today. I was still asked to do some chores, like cleaning, but that's about it. 

Right now Ben is playing games, and Jeff is competing with him. Natalie and Toby, are watching both of them compete. Tim is sitting nearby, reading the newspaper. While I'm sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket. 

Safe to say, after the break in we all worked hard to up the security of the mansion. My back is also killing me, so I'm glad for less work. I've had some slight withdrawal symptoms, mostly just the fact I've been getting headaches more frequently, and I want to sleep half the time.

I'm worried how much more I have to cut back, granted the fact that I've been hearing more things. I haven't had nightmares yet, which is what Dr. Smiley has said, that's where the cutback will stop. 

The sounds of competition are starting to get to me, I'm fine with them being competitive, but right now I just want some peace and quiet. Looks like Tim wants some too, he's crinkling his paper.

Okay, just walk over to him, and suggest we maybe move to somewhere else. Right, careful Collins. One, two, three- Ow, ow, ow. My back. Waddle time, man I feel old. 

"Hey Tim, do you want to head to the library or something?" Tim is looking at me now, he's putting down his paper and sighing.

"Yeah, let's go." Tim is getting up, and motioning for me to follow him. Tim is a bit of a grump sometimes, so him sighing is just his usual. Yep, usual you didn't say anything bad, Collins.

It's still too quiet. Should I say something? Maybe I should, but what if he just doesn't want to talk? That would be bad, and I rather stay on his good side. 

"Collins?" Wait, that's Tim. Too lost in thought again, I need to stop doing that. Answer, Collins. Just answer him.

"Y-yeah?" Why did I stutter? It's not like I am scared of him. Maybe I am a little, but that's not the point. It's not that kind of scared. Focus, Collins.

"The library's doors are here." Crap, why?! This is why you need to pay attention, Collins. And I'm nervously giggling. In Collins, hide your shame. 

Only a slight huff, oh thank god. I'm moving to the big seat, since my back hurts, and I've waddling like a duck for the last ten minutes. There we go, up on the seat, much better. 

Blanket makes this seat super comfy. Tim is sitting in the other one, and reading the newspaper again. I can hear music now, it's piano? Well, the map did say there was a music room. It's funny how familiar it sounds. I'm tired though, so it's soothing. Comfy, soft music, and darkness.

.....

Is that light? Could have swore it was farther last time. I hear piano music, and voices. Bright, I'm being pulled in. My body has changed again, it's like the reflection in my mirror, except was I always this tall? And what am I wearing? A suit?

"I don't get why I must attend these parties. All of these people are so freakishly boring, it makes you think that they don't run businesses the way they do." That came from the reflection, these dreams are weird. And they are drinking wine, or is that wine? I can't tell.

"While I agree with you my friend, you have to start thinking about making a business of your own. You can't keep being a recluse, and do everything on your own. You need partners, benefactors- I know that look, you're not even listening." That's a demonic voice, feels familiar. I'm actually curious why this guy isn't listening to him.

"My dear friend, I live off of people fearing me. If I have workers or partners it wouldn't work." I can feel their eyes rolling, are they serious? Or are they saying that to get out of it?

"Humor me then, having one business arrangement won't kill you. Times are different now, we must adapt to them. I'll let you pick." Another eye roll, suddenly I hear the music from the piano earlier. 

I'm pulled out of the body again. It's darker, but it's still the place. It's a party? In a ballroom. The people start to disappear. The reflection is standing in the middle with me. He's not wearing a suit anymore. He's wearing a cloak, the hood is covering his eyes, and he's still tall. 

"Who are you?" My voice echos, and the place shivers from it. Is my voice really that loud in here? Or is this place going to collapse? 

"Answer my question first." His voice sounds so much deeper and darker. What question? He's laughing. "Oh, don't be naive. Or is your memory failing you?" The place is shaking more from that. "It looks like that is my cue to leave. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Wait! Don't go, what do you mean soon?!" The place is shaking immensely, he's disappearing into the dark. 

"Stop denying, and you will see." His voice echoed, the place is crumbling. I hear static fill my ears, and I fall into the darkness. 

Floor, light. Ow, I'm on the floor. I hear footsteps heading over to me. Paper crinkling and falling. 

"Collins, are you okay?" Tim is helping me up, my back pops loudly. Hurts, but I think that helped. My legs got tangled in my blanket. Getting to loosening now.

"Yeah, just had a-" You know, my meds have been causing memory problems. And the guy said I need to stop denying. "-really weird dream, I'm glad it wasn't a nightmare." I have a feeling, I need to know. And if it gets bad I can up dosage again anyway. 

"Are you sure? You were shifting a lot in your sleep." Tim is questioning it. Okay, you can lie Collins. No stutter. 

"It was like one of those weird, what the fuck dreams. The kind you have and then just wake up, not knowing why you were having it. Yeah, one of those ones." That sounded almost too convincing. Good, right? I mean he seems to believe it. 

"Ah, okay. Your back giving you problems?" I feel heat rushing to my cheeks. Right, I forget my back popped. 

"Yeeeahh, I think it was all the lifting and digging with the barriers. How's your arm? I heard you strained it." Grabbing a log wrong, granted Tim's strong, but that log was heavy.

"It's fine, I've had worse. Sounds like your memory has gotten better, granted you're forgetting that we had a field day yesterday." Field day, oh wait. He means a big day of gardening, that's actually probably why my back hurts.

Up on my feet now, I feel like I won't waddle this time. "You know completely unrelated to that, um who was playing piano in the music room?" I hope he isn't minding that question. 

"Probably Slender, he usually plays classic songs and Underworld music." Underworld is techinally where the mansion is, but sometimes it shifts. 

I'm not really that surprised that he plays piano, in fact I thought the last piece he was playing was really nice. He must know how to play all sorts of instruments. I wonder how he plays them? His slender hands gently across the keys- Collins, no. Stop it. Boss, not crush.

"We should probably get headed, lunch should be served soon." Right, lunch. Tim's right, don't want to be late for food. I'm nodding in response. Following him out of the library now. 

I wonder what kind of food, we're going to have today? Maybe sandwiches, or chicken? I don't think it'd be beef, that's a dinner thing. 

In dining room now, Jeff, Toby and Ben are sitting at the table. Toby's waving at me, I'm going to take my usual spot next to him. Time for food, the chatter is comforting.

I can't stop thinking about my dream, I'm worried what it could mean, but at the same time I'm curious. I used to not care about what I saw in my mirror, but now I want to know more about it. Maybe, this is why Smiley doubts I'm human. But I don't think I'll find anything like that, or will I? 

Food, Collins, no need to worry about something that will happen eventually. I'm feeling more at home here, and that's important. Doesn't matter if most everyone here is a killer, demon, and ghost. They are family. Maybe if I can survive long enough, I'll be considered the same way.

It's a nice thought, and it keeps me going. Right food, now. I should start conversing, it sounds like Toby has done something fun today. Focus, Collins. Maybe then you'll hear it.


	10. Spooks and Mazes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, tonight is the night of Halloween. Never thought I'd be celebrating this year, but here I am looking in the mirror, and checking how my costume fits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interrupting our usual story for a Halloween Special. Special is still apart of canon story line.

Well, tonight is the night of Halloween. Never thought I'd be celebrating this year, but here I am looking in the mirror, and checking how my costume fits. My costume is on the spookier side, but well I'm not sure if it's spooky enough. I mean, I'll admit it, I do rather convincing makeup, even then could fix it up better. 

Fake blood is not quite convincing enough, okay Collins fix it- ah that's better, bone part with decay is looking good. Shirt tear very good, okay now to check the contacts- Knocking, okay um yeah they look good. Okay, answer door now Collins. 

"Oh hey Jeff, um nice costume? Are you uh-" Well, he jumped back a bit, the costume works. 

"A dildo- dude, since when did you do make-up? I thought you had up and died, before the party." Can't help, but laugh at that statement. Ow, that elbow still hurt.

"Well, let's just say I have a few tricks of the trade. Let's get to the party though." Jeff nods, good. I hope I don't scare Sally with the costume. I wonder what Slender is going to be wearing. 

Down the stairs, now I see him. Pfff- of course he's a vampire. That cape suits him. I should walk up to him. Yeah, walking now.

"Oh, Collins! I didn't recognize you for a moment. Did you make that costume yourself?" I'm nodding, it's better than stuttering. "Well it's very well done, my costume is rather boring compared to yours." 

"N-no, not at all. I think the cape suits you. You should wear it more often- If you want that is, w-what I meant to say." Dammit, Collins. Had to shutter and say that.

He's laughing a bit. "Glad you think so, I'll have to take your suggestion one day. Now, there's a maze out back, I would suggest you take a partner, due to your trouble with direction. We will also having scary movies later after dinner. Enjoy the party!" Pfff-he swooshed his cape. So cool, but so cute- No, no. 

"Hey, blushy boy! We're heading to the maze!" Ugh, stupid body sensations. Glaring at Ben, he's hiding behind Jeff. Well, I now which group I'm going with. Looks like Toby and Jeff go together. Literally. Ben is Link, what more did I expect?

.....

The maze is very big, being inside it I can see how tall the walls are. I'm pretty sure this maze has always been here, just never been inside it. I like the scary decorations, must have took ages to set up.

I'm not really paying attention to what my group are talking about, mostly just admiring the maze. I know that the maze is something that is tended to, mostly by the proxies. Wait- where's the others?

Did I lose sight of them while I was thinking, or did they leave me behind? No, they wouldn't would they? What if they did? Why would they do that? I can't wander the maze myself, I'll get more lost if I do. Well, I have no- ow, I bumped into someone.

"Collins? What are you doing here by yourself?" Oh my god, did they seriously leave me behind just because, they knew he'd be here?!

"Oh, um. I wasn't by myself, I-I just got separated from my group. Um, what are you doing here?" My makeup covers up some of my blush, not all of it though. I hope he doesn't notice. 

"Just checking my hedges, and on those who are within the maze. Since you were separated from your group, would like you walk with me? I can show you a shortcut, so you can meet them there." Oh my, um I can't even- ahhhh- okay, okay, cool it Collins. 

"R-really? Um, sure! That would be nice." I'm pretty sure he smiled at that, I hope I'm not bothering him- oh, um. He's holding out his hand, okay just take it, Collins. 

"You know, this route has been shown to very few people. I like to keep it secret, as it makes it special. When you've live hundreds of years, it's things like these, that are best to keep track of." Oh, well that makes sense, I am nodding, so he knows I understand. Wait, special though? Collins, focus. 

Wow, it's really pretty. Who knew that hedges and roses, could make a place seem magical. The wild roses are many colors, from blue to red to purple to gold. I'm letting go of his hand for a second, just to touch some of the petals.

"How did you get them to grow around each other? They look amazing." They really are, I'm being as gentle as possible. They are really soft to the touch, it's better than what I've seen done by other people.

"There wasn't much I did, all they needed was a bit of help when they started growing, and from there it was all their work. I'm glad you like them, not a lot of the people in the mansion seem to appreciate gardening." That's a little sad, he sounds sad. 

"W-well, I appreciate it. If I hadn't had to take up a job as a janitor, I would have done gardening. But I honestly was really busy with school and work, I didn't think I had time. If I did my old landlord, would have commented, on how many plants i would have had. Oh, um, I'm rambling again right? W-we should probably get going." I did it. Again. I got to stop rambling.

"No, it's quite alright. I thank you for comforting me. I'm glad to know that, you love gardening as much as I do. If you want, I can show you a secret spot in the main garden, as well. Just a place you can visit, in case if you need some peace and quiet." He's inviting me to another secret place? He doesn't mind my rambling either? He doesn't look like he does. 

"I-I be honored." So much heat rushing to cheeks, at least the lights are dim. Or else he would see a bright looking tomato. I'm smiling too. Can't help it.

"Splendid! Now, let's head out of the maze. Should be there before it's time to head in for dinner. Let's go." He holding my hand again, I feel like a puppy. A lovestruck one, I guess I'll only admit that to myself. My crush on him is growing, how will I get over now?

Now we are out of the maze, that was a fast shortcut. I see my group, they are whispering, and now they are running up to meet me. Hugs from Toby, and Jeff has fluffed my hair. Slender waving back at me, as he heads inside, waving back at him. 

"So, how was your 'date'?" Ben is smirking, the heat to my cheeks is even worse now. They left me on purpose, so I had to go with Slender! Glaring at him, rolling my eyes and not saying a word. 

"Not even gonna say? Aw, Collins, don't tell me you kissed." Kissed?! Jeff, I swear. I will punch him the throat. 

"What?! No! We did not do that. We just walked and talked okay?! Get your mind out of the gutter." Giggling, I'm heading inside! Kissed?! Who even thinks that would happen?! 

But it was amazing, but I'm going to let them know that. That walk is only between me and Slender. Oh, but he looked amazing, and also I learned how he loves gardening. I also had snuck a peek at the book club he holds, if I wasn't a blushing mess around him half the time, I would have joined it. Discussing Moby Dick with him would have been fun. 

Put those thoughts aside Collins, time for dinner. I would what Halloween movies we're going to be watching. Maybe I can sit closer to Slender- No, that would be weird. Stop thinking about it Collins. Focus on dinner, and join some of the conversation. It sounds like Jason had managed to spook Jeff, that good and means I don't have to worry about revenge. A perfect spooky night for me, just perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everyone, hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	11. Unfortunate Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mask, check. Weapons, check. Jeff said it's good to hide a knife or two just in case, so they are hidden. Right, relay what's been going on, so I don't forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter has Collins on a mission. A lot of reveals will happen, so prepare for trouble and make it double.

Mask, check. Weapons, check. Jeff said it's good to hide a knife or two just in case, so they are hidden. Right, relay what's been going on, so I don't forget. 

It's been a couple days, since my dream. After the defenses had been made, it's now time for some investigation, and work. I already have gone on a mission beforehand, which was something I didn't exactly remember, but I was told it was an info gathering mission. 

Now, I'm preparing for my next mission. I'll be with Jeff, my mentor for this mission. It's not specifically a killing mission, but due to the danger we could run across it's allowed. Already had the briefing earlier today. 

"Your mission is to gather more information on the cult of people who broke in, however this will be in their base, so this will require stealth. Kill only if necessary." Slender's words still ring in my head. 

"Wouldn't the proxies, be better for this? I'm not exactly the pinnacle of stealth, and Collins hasn't had much experience in the field." Jeff was right, it's the main reason why I'm rather nervous about all this. 

"The proxies, already have their hands full with a different mission. Since Collins is under your training, it's time to put that to the test." Putting my training under Jeff to the test like this, is something that I'm not sure I'm prepared for. 

Granted me and Jeff have been training together, due to how I even came here in the first place. I already had some skill beforehand, so the training I've been having has been rough. Jeff is one of those teachers, I wouldn't recommend to someone who wasn't prepared to deal with him. Not that he's bad at teaching, he's great at it. Just very rough with his students, and blunt. 

I guess, him getting me to chase him through the woods, does come to mind. I was supposed to find a way to catch him, without losing sight of him, I think it was revenge of how we first met. Evident of the mocking, of 'not so easy being the chaser, now huh?' I threw mud at him, after that. Only because I had tripped in a puddle, due to him throwing a knife at my head to make me trip.

More wrestling has happened, with how many times I've lost to him, I think he likes pinning me. Maybe it's because he has that smug grin when he does it. I've nearly won the last time, only lost cause he licked my hand. Left me with the lesson, 'don't hold back, if you don't need to.' I'll lick his hand, and see how he likes it. Why did I think that?

Right both boots tied, the mask I was given isn't anything special. It has eye holes, and covers my face. It's only got a primary color on it, which is black. Putting it on now, it's okay, not exactly comfortable, but okay. 

"Collins, you ready to head out?" That's Jeff, I'm nodding and putting on my mission jacket. It's a dark blue, zip up jacket. Jeff and I are going to be brought to the spot close to their base by teleportation.

Slender takes my hand and Jeff's. I'm trying not to blush, but his hands are so smooth and big. He's gripping my hand firmly, but not hard. Collins, stop it, focus. You have a mission, just because he's holding your hand doesn't mean, you get to lose it. It's so nice though- Stop it.

Now, we are in the forest next to the base. A quick info grab is what we need to do. That is all. I still have a bad feeling, about this place.

"Of course, it had to be a church. Typical cultists. Looks like we'll have an easier way in, here see?" Jeff is passing his binoculars to me. Right, the door to a basement. Hidden. 

Cultists is right, after they broke in it didn't take long to discover that. Gathering information on this place is going to be hard. The others are creating a distraction. It's why Jeff and me are the lucky ones to go in. Following him down the hill, as silently as possible.

Now we are down the hill, it's time to go in. Yep, now. I hear the distraction. It's musky down here, and cold. I can feel it through my jacket. Jeff motions for splitting up, oh this won't end badly at all. Now, I'm left alone with the creaks. I hope I'll find something soon- Hide Collins, voices. 

"There has yet, to be found a human with our Lord's mark. Has your endeavors, of finding signs of our Lord returning successful?" That's an older man speaking, so why did they send people to break in then?

"Nay, our last mission to the place where his energy resides, has been thwarted by those who live there. I believe he has been confined by those brutes." Brutes? Really? You're the ones who broke in. But they think the person they worship is being held by us? They are either crazy or stupid, maybe both at this point. 

"Then we shall find a way to free our Master, for the Day of Terror shall be upon us soon. When our Lord and Master awakens from his silence." The Day of Fear? That doesn't sound good, okay I got to find Jeff, and get us both out of here. I think that's enough information. Gotta remember what I heard, for later.

Wait for them to pass, or else they will know I'm here- oh no I stepped wrong. I hear them coming closer, quick hide in that vase, Collins! 

It's tight in here. Slow your breathing, or else they'll hear you. Footsteps closer, I think they're right next to the vase. They're passing now, wait until they're gone. I'm clear, oh boy that was close. Gotta, be more careful next time. 

Right now to find Jeff, I wish we didn't split up. Would have been easier to find him. Maybe, I'll just follow his scent, he stinks badly sometimes. Okay, that was a bit too mean. If only I knew where he-

Hand over my mouth- Wait it's Jeff's hand. Oh thank god, other cultists pass by. Jeff gives me a glare, guess that was too noisy. Okay, singling for us to head out. I'll relay the info to him once we're out. Remember Collins, the cultists were breaking in to find their Master, to bring him back to have the Day of Terror. Remember- we're stopping. 

Two cultists blocking the way. No way to go around them, without being seen. Jeff is pulling out his weapon, okay we're doing this. Pulling out my weapon now. Jeff signaling that's he's going to the left, that means I get the one of the right. 

Here, we go, silent and quiet- Shit, creak. Just tackle him Collins. Jeff's occupied with the other one now, just c'mon I can wrestle this guy. 

Ow- this guy is stronger than he looks. C'mon, Collins you can do this. My blade is getting closer, almost have him- Ow, he trying to kick me off. I grabbed his hood, it's sliding off, now I can see- his face-

"Dominic?" Crap, I said that out loud- Shit, it's Dominic. I can't kill Dominic. No, no, no. He was an old friend- He's a cult member- Oh god, he's a cult member?! 

"Collins?" He recognizes me? By my voice? I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. We've stopped struggling, I think it's mostly from surprise.

"What are you doing?! Kill him so we can get out of here!" That's Jeff hushed, but loud whisper. But I can't do it, oh Dominic I'm so sorry, I have to. Wait- Maybe I can convince him to join our side, then I won't have to-

"Collins!" Jeff is yelling, why is he?- I was shoved?! Why? Oh no, Jeff! He's been stabbed, Dominic is now standing over him with the blade. 

"You should have done as he said, creep. Would have made it out of here. Now, I will kill you in the name of the Lord of Fear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuunnnn, yes he is back. Also, who is the Lord of Fear? Find out more as chapter go on!


	12. Discovery through emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dominic is going to kill me?! Dominic would have stabbed me if not for- Jeff. Oh Jeff, I'm sorry I hesitated. I should have killed him when I had the chance, instead of being an idiot. Now, you will die and it'll be all my fault- No, no! Collins, we are not going down this easily!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things happen, some emotional some not.

Dominic is going to kill me?! Dominic would have stabbed me if not for- Jeff. Oh Jeff, I'm sorry I hesitated. I should have killed him when I had the chance, instead of being an idiot. Now, you will die and it'll be all my fault- No, no! Collins, we are not going down this easily! 

This bastard thinks he can just kill me?! Oh he is dead wrong, if he thinks, I'm going to go down without a fight. Do this for Jeff! 

He lunging towards me, take the blade and block! Round kick, block. Down and trip him. Get him to the floor, so you can kill him! Dodge again, he's fast on his feet. But you're faster. 

He's got us pinned again- C'mon Collins, fight it! I can't hold him back much longer. Well, it looks like I won't be winning this one, I fought. That's all I could do. I'm so tired- No, I feel something. It's malicious, I feel strong all of a sudden. It's getting him off me- He landed against the wall! Since when did I stop feeling tired?

Don't questioned it, just grab Jeff and go. Leave the buliding. What if I don't find help in time? Please Jeff, don't die on me. Out of the buliding, caught unwanted attention. All of that just to be cornered again?! 

I feel something, holding onto Jeff tight. It feels like static, it runs through my whole body like fire. Everything around me is changing, what is happening? I'm closing my eyes.

I'm- We're- Back in the mansion? But Slender wasn't nearby? At least I don't think- Yeah I don't see him. I open my eyes, and we're back? Right- Jeff first. 

"Collins?! Jeff?! How did-" Cutting Tim off, hate doing it, but Jeff's wounded.

"No time to explain, Jeff's been stabbed. He's needs to see Smiley." Tim just nods, and is helping me take him upstairs to the medical room. Brian, is also helping by alerting Smiley. Setting him down on the bed now, we get out Smiley's and EJ's way. 

"Tim, are the others, who were doing the distraction back yet?" I need to know if they are, because we basically just up and disappeared. I still don't know how though.

"Not yet, what happened? The mission was going smoothly and now you both just suddenly appeared here, with Jeff being wounded?" I have to tell him, but it's going to be hard to explain. At least now, we have some information on the cult. 

....

After explaining the whole thing, it's evident that this mission had losses. Jeff's not to blame for those, I am. I hesitated, which if not for some sort of strange occurrences we would have been dead.

"Let me get this straight. The cult is looking for their master to bring about the Day of Terror, and they think he's being held here. And the only name you heard him being called by, was the Lord of Fear?" I nod, that is correct. "Jeff was stabbed after you hesitated killing a cult member, due to being affiliated with him in the past?" I nod again slowly. Also...correct. 

Tim, is taking this all in I can tell. "You don't know how you made it out, and yet you have. You said you feel something within you, and somehow these things happened?" I nod again. I really don't know how we did make out.

"The information you have found, it's something we can go off of. The mission wasn't failed at least. We at least got what we came for. I will have to tell Slender what happened, he might not be as forgiving for your partner, being wounded on your account." Well, at least it wasn't failed. But...how will Slender take the news? Probably is going to hate me. 

"You should wash up....I'm sure things will be okay." I know Brian is trying to comfort me, so I'm giving him a reassuring smile. But really, I don't think it will be. I've gotten better at lying I guess. But I might as well take his suggestion, I'm covered in blood and dirt. 

....

I just finished my shower, nice and clean-? Wait, do I still have dirt on my face? I took my medication, so my reflection should be showing what I actually look like. Then why do I have a smear of dirt under my eye? I scrubbed my face, maybe I need to do it again?

Okay scrubbing, nothing. Okay again, maybe it'll come off this time? Scrubbing. Still there. Okay maybe I need, a closer look at it. Okay, it has a shape. Just need to look closer- Knocking? Falling! Ow- I need to stop doing that. Answer door, Collins. 

It's Liu? I haven't seen much of him lately, but he was on the distraction team. Which means, Slender now knows what happened. Which means, he knows what happened.

"Liu, um, I uh. I'm sorry, alright? I didn't- I didn't mean to hesitate, I wasn't thinking- Please, I didn't mean for Jeff to get hurt-" He's holding up his hand. I can't hold back the tears, so they're just falling.

"You should have killed him, why didn't you? You said, that he broke off your friendship. Not you. So, why did you hesitate killing him?!" His eyes, he's angry. He's getting closer, I'm backing up.

"I-I don't know. I thought- I thought I could reason with him. I didn't know-" I'm up against the wall- He slammed his hand next to me. 

"Reason with him?! He pulled a blade on you! Intent on killing you where you were! If Jeff hadn't shoved you out of the hit, you would have died!" His hand is grabbing my shirt. "You're lucky that he isn't dead, or you would be. I hope he ditches you after this." Liu let go. I'm not even sure if that was him, he sounded so different from his usual self. 

I don't care though, because he's right. If Jeff hadn't taken the hit, I would have been dead, all because I hesitated killing Dominic. I feel more tears, I'm sitting down on the floor. I'm a horrible person, I don't care if I die now, maybe it would make up for my mistake. 

"C-Collins? Slender w-wanted to see you, why are you crying? W-What happened?" That's Toby. I'm looking at him now, I probably look like shit. 

"Liu- Liu screamed at me, for getting his brother hurt....I can go see Slender, if he wants to see me. I need to get it done with anyway." Swallowing my tears, and wiping them away, but I feel more want to come. Toby is stopping me, his hand is on my shoulder. 

"A-Are you sure you can handle i-it? You look l-like you're about to c-cry again." I know I do, but I need to be strong. I nod, holding back more. I can do this, I won't cry, when I'm told what punishment I'll receive. You can do this, Collins.

Toby is leading me to Slender's office, I can feel some stares on me from the other residents. Be strong, you can do this. Slender is fair, so the punishment will be fair. Unless he hates me too, now. Then, I doubt it will be fair. Be strong. Be strong.

The door to his office is being opened, Tim and Brian are leaving and so is Toby. It's just me and Slender now. If it wasn't the fact that I had a wounded partner, I would be thrilled to be in here. The smell of paper is comforting, as it reminds me of books.

"Have a seat." Slender is gesturing towards, one of the seats in front of his desk. Doing as I'm told, be strong, Collins. Sitting down now. 

"I think you're aware, that I know what happened now. So, let's get to it. You understand what's it's like to have a job, and having to meet requirements of it. You know what happens, if you don't correct?" I nod. You get paycheck cuts, or you don't get paid at all for some, or you get fired.

"Due to you gaining necessary information on the cult, your mission is considered a success. However, you endangered your life as well as your partner's." Here it comes, my punishment. "For that, you shall have some your paycheck cut, and your workload and chores shall be doubled for two weeks, while your partner heals. That is all for your punishment."

"Wait, that's it?" Oh no, I said that out loud. Hold back the tears, Collins. Be strong, you're strong. Slender is looking at me. "I mean- W-With all d-due respect, I was expecting m-more, sir." I really want to leave this room, and cry. A lot. 

"Why would I give you more, if you managed to complete it?" I really, don't have an answer for that. I feel like shit, I'm about to cry, and it's been silent for too long. "Collins? You're not answering me." I feel the dam breaking, now I'm full straight up crying in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, Collins is having a rough time. Maybe the next chapter he will feel better.


	13. A memory found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crying in front of Slender, great job Collins! Now it looks like it was his fault! When it wasn't his fault! It's mine! Ugh, why did I have to emotional before coming in here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More things uncovered, enjoy!

Crying in front of Slender, great job Collins! Now it looks like it was his fault! When it wasn't his fault! It's mine! Ugh, why did I have to emotional before coming in here! 

"Collins, was it something I said, or something that happened?" His voice is so calm and soft, it's cute and nice, and I'm not emotional prepared for this. 

"I-It wasn't anything you said, I'm-I'm sorry for crying. It's-it's nothing. D-Don't worry about me." I'm trying to hold back more tears, but I can't. C'mon, you're better than this, Collins. 

"If it was nothing, then you wouldn't be crying. If it really wasn't anything I said, then what happened? You don't usually cry like this, so it must be important." He's gotten closer, and he's kneeling now as well. Will he really hate me if he knew? No one else is here, it's just us. Okay, here goes nothing.

"Liu- Liu, screamed at me for being the reason his brother was h-hurt. I-I feel terrible for crying about it, cause he's right. I-I shouldn't have hesitated, but I did- Now he's hurt, and it's my fault! I should get more of a p-punishment, right?!" I know I really shouldn't be saying these things, but at this point do I care? No. He looks sad, he likely hates me for saying that-

I'm being hugged? Why?! At the same time, he's hugging me- You know what? I'm too emotional to care at this point! I'm accepting the hug, by hugging back and crying until I can't! I'll probably regret this later, but that's for future Collins.

.....

I finally feel release on the tears, but I'm drained. We hugged for like twenty minutes. I feel bad that I just accepted it though, Liu is still right for hating me. My head is much clearer now, but I still don't want to let go, he smells nice. Okay maybe I should, like now. Or else I'm going to make this weird. Yep, releasing now. 

"Um, t-thanks for that. That wasn't too awkward, right?" It probably was, it probably was. I'm not going to kid with myself. Plus, I doubt that will happen again.

"It wasn't, you don't need to worry. Well, since we're still alone. I suppose, I should ask this now. Collins, Tim mentioned you and Jeff appeared back at the mansion, before our group made it back. He also mentioned how you had felt something before it happened. Do you remember feeling something similar, before you came here?" Okay, think Collins. Do I remember? I mean my memory is pretty foggy, but I feel like it's gotten less. So maybe trying won't hurt.

Right, try to remember. "My memory is still foggy, so I don't know. I'm sorry, if that's not what you wanted to hear." I tried, and that's okay. 

"Maybe, I can help with that. I could use my powers of telepathy to try, and help you remember, but I'm not going to do that without your permission." I mean it could help, but am I prepared to have my crush in my head? Well, I'll just have to clear my head of thoughts of him. Maybe he won't hear it, if I'm focusing on remembering? 

"O-okay, but are you sure you're okay with b-being in my head?" He's giving a nod. Okay, try to remember. Remember that feeling, close your eyes, and focus Collins.

Our heads are touching- No, focus. 'Collins? Can you hear me?' That's him, okay focus. Right, yes I can. 'Alright, I need you to relax and try to focus on one memory with that feeling.' Okay, I think I can do that, it's foggy, but I think there's one memory I know. I'm being sucked into it.

I'm in my room? Well, old room, parents home. That kind of old. I'm sitting on my bed, and my arms are crossed. I didn't think I'd remember being a kid, for that feeling. 

"I wanna see Mommy and Daddy again, the babysitter is mean. Maybe if I wish really hard, I'll see them again! Okay, Collins! Time to wish!" It sounds like my voice, but squeaky. I used to talk to myself out loud? Maybe, that's why I think so much inwards. 

That feeling is coming, but my younger self's eyes are closed so, I can't really see what's happening. It's feels stronger this time, like my younger self has a better grasp of where it comes from. 

It's starting to fade now. Opening eyes- Wait, is that my parents? We're in a giant mall? My younger self seems pleased, they're skipping over to them. A tug my dad's coat, and they both are shocked. 

Everything's starting to fade, but I can hear something. "But the window was opened when I was wishing, I really didn't use the window to get out. Why doesn't anyone believe me?" That's my younger self, he's right the window was open. How did we get to the mall then? 

'Collins, I believe you have teleporting capabilities.' That's Slender right, it's dark and we're standing alone together. Not inside his office. Okay, sorry I just run through a lot of things in my head, helps me remember better.

'That's quite alright, I understand. It would appear your parents thought your abilities meant Schizophrenia.' Does that mean that the medication, has been only been harmful? Then what does it mean with me seeing things?

'It means that whatever you have been seeing, is real. You've only been told it wasn't, because they thought you were normal.' I mean it makes sense? I guess, but what am I then? 

'That is something not even I know. Perhaps some investigation is in order. As well as getting you off the medication, as you don't need it.' Right, okay. Do you think you could help with that? You don't have to, it's just I don't really know where to start, and you are more knowledgeable about this kind of thing already.

'I'll be happy to help, I am curious as to what you are already. Also we do need to know for, so we can accommodate appropriately.' Right, in case I can spew fire? Laughing between us. 

'Yes, that's one way to put it. Now, we need to leave here, I have to speak with Liu and I believe Jeff is awake.' You don't have to do that, it's really no big deal. Please don't hurt him. 

'Collins, I will not do that, I am checking because I have to see if that was Liu.' Wait, why would you do that- Wait, is this like Masky and Hoodie?

'Yes, it is. Without emotions blocking your judgement you catch onto things quite quickly. Now, I believe you need to see Jeff. Hold onto my hands in here, and I shall bring us both out promptly.' Right, right, holding hands now. 

Back in the office, my head hurts a bit. Following Slender to the medical room. It's kinda silent between us, but then again we did talk to each other for a while, even if it wasn't out loud. It's kinda nice walking in silence, at least my thoughts aren't being read right now. 

Medical room, there's Jeff- He was right he's awake! Running up and hugging him. "Collins? Ow, ow careful bud, stitches." I'm crying again, mostly from joy. "Smiley told me what happened, thanks for kicking his but for me."

"Y-You're not mad?" I wouldn't blame him, of course. I did hesitate which got him stabbed. Which would have made it out uninjured. 

"No, I'm pretty sure the reason you hesitated, was he was an old crush and friend. You were shocked at seeing him right?" I'm nodding, that's exactly what happened. "The reason why I'm not mad, is you came to your senses and got us out of there. Just be sure to kill him, the next time we see him okay?" I'm laughing, oh that was a terrible joke.

Slender is talking to Smiley, probably about what we know now. He's giving me a look, I think that means he's celebrating over that fact he was right. Slender is leaving now, probably to talk to Liu. I'm not going to tell Jeff what happened, cause I think that would be too much right now. I'm just going to give hugs and take on my new duties later. Well, at least I clean better than Jeff, he's needs a shower badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeff is okay yay! Maybe after this Collins will stop denying things.


	14. Learning and secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now you wanted to learn more about the Lord of Fear?" I nod, Slender recognized the name, when it was said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep this chapter is about the Lord of Fear. Though the first part was a request from UndeadRelived, go check about their recent book Unordinary Family.

Well, I never thought that this was going to be something, I was going to do today. Two weeks have passed by quickly, maybe it's because I was occupied. Now, it's one of those days where I can get a break, and let's just say I've been pulled into something by Jeff. 

"Collins, please tell me what's happening. Everyone has been talking in gibberish, please tell me you're at least normal." I'm sorry Helen, but I owe Jeff this one. 

"Woof?" He's glaring at me. "Moo? Squawk! Meoooowwww!" I'm acting like I'm shocked, that I can't speak normally. So I'm waving my arms and covering my mouth. Apart of the prank. Helen, is exiting the room now. I hear more gibberish others are making. 

"Snilloc !ih" Ben is waving at me, he's one of the people who is supposed to talk backwards. He's entered the room. and Helen is freaking out about that he's still not talking normally. 

"Bwoof! Hisssss, squeak hoo coo coo?" Even though it's gibberish, the whole group knows what each other's means, so we can interact to add to more confusion. 

"?Uoy era woh !Doog" Helen is groaning at the confusing slur, that we happen to be making. Some more conversation should do.

"Grrr! Blub, bwack! Tweet!" I am flapping my arms like a bird, Ben is squatting and sticking his tongue out. I know that Jeff is recording this. I think he's going to come out any second-

"Okay, guys you can stop now. You should have seen your face Helen!" We all burst out laughing. It was a bit mean, Helen is crossing his arms now. 

"It wasn't that funny. But I'll give you credit, for getting Collins in on it. I'm going to my room." More laughter, yeah even though I hang with the mansion appointed pranksters, I usually record them, instead of doing it.

"Yeah, we need you to do it more. How can you even make accurate animal noises like that?" Jeff is me a hard pat on the back, ow. Never gonna get used to that.

I'm shrugging. "No idea, just went with the flow of noises." Some giggling. More pats, and- Ow, ow, noogie! My hair is fluffy again, now I have to smooth it down. "Anyway, I have to go meet Slender in the library. I'll see you guys at lunch!" I'm running off to the library now, ignoring the smirking and giggling behind me. 

Right, going around the mansion has become easier. Wait, stop before mirror- right, smooth down hair. Markings have grown a bit, especially the one under my eye. Funny, how I used to think that was dirt before. Anyway, time to go see Slender! 

Going into the large doors, it's still amazes me how big it is. So many books and a nice fireplace. I see Slender has taken his usual chair. I remember, I accidently fell asleep in that one. Maybe it was his scent- Focus, Collins. He reading a book, I hope that I'm not going to interrupt. 

"S-Sir? I'm here for our discussion?" Slender, jumped a little bit at that. I hope I didn't scare him, he must have gotten invested in the book he was reading. 

"Oh! Collins! Yes, I apologize I was getting to some light reading. Come, sit." I sit in a chair across from his, it's still really big, so I feel like I'm a kid with how my legs dangle off of it. 

"Now you wanted to learn more about the Lord of Fear?" I nod, Slender recognized the name, when it was said. "Alright, I'll tell you what I know about him. His name was Willows, or at least that's what he preferred to be called by. Me and him were business partners, before he disappeared that is."

"He disappeared?" Slender is nodding, so he knew him before that happened. "Do you know why he did?" Slender is shaking his head.

"No one knows why he did, all that we know is that he disappeared a hundred years ago. No one has heard or seen him, until the cult members have mentioned it." He sounds sad with saying that.

"I-I see, what was he like? Was he terrifying or nice?" Slender is laughing at that, I'm sure that a what would be like a smile on his face right now. 

"Depends, on who you were talking to. He was polite if he needed to be, but he liked scaring people more. I mean that made sense considering, he fed off of people's fear." Wait, fed? Oh, that's chilling. So, very chilling.

"You mean he ate other people's fear?" Literally, that's chilling. Could you imagine, how much he would have to feed off of for meals?

"Well, techinally he absorbed it. But yes, he created fear to feed off it. It's why his aura usually set people off, people could sense that he was not someone to be messed with. That, and due to the fact that he kept to himself. He was surrounded by mystery most of the time, said it kept the fear around him stronger." He surrounded himself in mystery, makes sense.

"Can you tell me anything else?" Best to learn more of what I can, I feel like I need to. This guy is kinda interesting to learn about anyway.

"I do know, that he loved forests as much as I. And that despite being business partners, we were...close....Collins, can you keep a secret for me?" I'm nodding slowly. "I had fallen for Willows, but what I was afraid of, was if he would be able to share the same feelings. Willows was many things, but he struggled with understanding emotions other than fear. No matter how many times I would advance, he always seem to not understand what I was doing. After many tries, I had stopped, and that is around the time he disappeared. I'm afraid I'm still not over him, despite living longer, regrets don't leave in a shorter amount of time." No wonder he sounds so sad, I had no idea. 

I guess my crush, will stay a crush now. But at the same time, I feel guilty and remorse? I get some of the guilt, but remorse? Why do I feel this way after he's told me this? Maybe, it's similar to memories that I have forgotten? At the same time I feel bad for Slender, he tried to get Willows to accept his affections for him and he couldn't. The guy sounds oblivious as hell. 

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. Can you tell me anything else about him?" Slender, is shaking his head.

"That is all I know about him, despite being close, he still kept himself cloaked in mystery even around me. The only other person who knew him personally was Zalgo. But I don't think you'll be able to visit him for questions." Right, cause Zalgo is Slender's business rival. Darn it.

"What was Zalgo to Willows?" If he knew him personally, does that mean business partners as well, or does that mean family or friends?

"They were friends. Zalgo, is the one who introduced me to Willows. The two were closely knit, I doubt I would have met Willows otherwise." They were friends, maybe Zalgo knows what happened to him then. "Though Collins, you're surprisingly curious about him, any particular reason why you wanted to have this discussion?" I can't tell him the real reason, fake it Collins. 

"I-I am curious, I mean were defeating a cult that worships him, I just wanted to know what we could be up against." I feel bad for lying, but I need to.

"Alright, it's good you're taking the cult into account. Well, if that is all, I have work I must attend to. You can stay in the library longer if you wish, now I must be off." He's standing up and teleporting away. 

I am letting out a sigh, if only I was just learning more about this guy just for the cult. Staring at the fire, I can see the shapes in it. Check my arms for the marks again, yep still there. Well, looks like I'll have to figure out how to get to Zalgo. 

While I love being here, my memory gain has been slow to say the least. I've been having more dreams of the reflection. Granted what I am seeing is real, so the reflection must be a real person.

After I heard the cult had sensed Willow's presence here, I'm being to think that I'm to blame. Now that I know he hasn't been around for a hundred years, I think that's because he's learn to follow a certain person. I was a rather fearful child in my memories, taunted by the reflection I saw in my mirror. 

If I can learn more about him from Zalgo, I can figure out why he's chosen to follow me, and figure out how to bring him back. Without him either possessing me, or whatever he can do. I'll find that out once I get to Zalgo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins thinks Willows is following him. Interesting. Next chapter find out how Collins finds the King of Shadows, which is to say Zalgo.


	15. And off he goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll have to pack supplies for the journey ahead. Granted, I'm nervous. I don't know how long the journey will take, and plus once it's noticed that I left, it won't have much time before I'm found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins, is off to see the wizard the wonderful- Wait wrong person.

I'll have to pack supplies for the journey ahead. Granted, I'm nervous. I don't know how long the journey will take, and plus once it's noticed that I left, it won't have much time before I'm found. 

'Well, well. Finally took my advice.' I see the reflection. He's standing where I am, I know that's him speaking cause he sounds exactly like that in my dreams. 'You talk to yourself a lot in thought you know that?' Ugh, I'm glaring at him. Putting down what I am rolling to put in my bag. 

'Oh don't be like that, I was merely commenting. I do that too.' Rolling my eyes. 'You don't seem to be in the mood. Care to tell me why?' Look, I'm already losing my mind with leaving. I don't like having to do this, but I have to. Plus, I'm blaming you for putting the idea in my head.

Laughing, he's laughing at me?! Why are you laughing?! 'Oh, it's just funny. I wasn't the one who put that idea in your head, and yet you think I did. You're still denying the truth.' The truth of what exactly?! I am closer to the mirror now, I'm staring him directly in the eyes. 

'You know, I'm forgetting what exactly that is at this point. I just know you're denying.' Listen here, I know who you are now, I'm going to get you out of my head. 'Do you though?' Of course I do! 

That look. Do I know? No! You're making me doubt things! Trying to get in my head, make me uncertain and doubtful like you did before. Well, not this time! Not again! Swung my hand, and broke the mirror that showed him. The glass is in my fist, but I don't care. I am not going to fear him anymore. I should probably hide my bag though, and clean up the glass. 

"C-Collins, are y-you alright? I-I heard glass- W-Whoa, why did y-you break the mirror?" Bag is hidden, so Toby didn't see it. Me picking up the glass shards though, yep in broad daylight. 

"Sorry Toby, got frustrated and accidentally punched it too hard." Half the truth though, wasn't an accident. Toby is clearing his throat.

"O-Oh, well l-lunch will be s-soon, do you w-want me to help?" I am nodding. Just because I'm leaving secretly, and it's affecting my mood, doesn't mean I'm going to be a jerk. Though I might be a bit snappy, if Sully tries to start shit. 

.....

It's night now, I did as much chores as I could without seeming suspicious. Sully did start shit, and I did snap back. Joking with Jeff, and he got all uppity about it. So, I flipped him off. That led to insulting each other, and I would have throw hands, if we weren't allowed to harm each other. 

Now, it's time to get headed. I am wearing my mask, and my jacket with a hoodie underneath. No idea when I'll be back, I swiped the map to his base off of Masky. Because, they go there for negotiations and other things I forgot about. Right, out the window- Uh oh, I've been spotted. 

"Collins, what are you doing?" Crap, it's EJ. Guess I have to explain myself. "If you're leaving, why didn't you say anything?" Right, explain. 

"Look, I'm gathering more information on the Lord of Fear. But the only person, I can go to now for more answers, is Zalgo. Look, I have to do this EJ, it's about more than the cult at this point." He seems hesitant, but he's nodding. 

"I hope you know what you're doing. I'll try to cover for you, but it won't be easy. Should I tell Jeff, Toby and Ben?" I'm nodding. "Okay, then you'll have back up. Just be careful Collins, the Underworld is a dangerous place." Yep, already knew that. Out the window to the tree, and to the ground. Time for my journey to begin. 

.....

It's still dark, I've teleported to a path, I know outside of Slender's forest, if I didn't I would have not been able to get this far. Slender's forest is controlled by his mind, so if you want to leave you have to get his say so. Wait- is that Slender in the distance? Shit, no, how did he- Wait, that's not him. Too colorful. Slender would not wear polka dots.

"I told you that we should have not taken that detour. Now it's too early to arrive, without being rude by waking them up." Okay, I should hide, don't want to be spotted by people who can potentially harm me. Trees work. 

"Splendor, it was not unnecessary, I did need that fabric for my new design. If anything, it had to be our other detour." That's another voice, it sounds a bit deeper than the other one, well considering the other was a higher pitch.

"Are you saying getting gifts for our brother's family, is unnecessary? Especially since he mentioned they had a new member, and this was our visit to meet him?" Okay, maybe I can move around them while they are arguing. 

"I didn't mean that detour Splendor, I was mentioning Offender's." That's another member, can't move. Damn it.

"Hey don't drag me into this, that detour was very necessary." He's wearing a trenchcoat and boots. The one who's name hasn't been mentioned is wearing a brown sweater, slacks and glasses. Wait that doesn't make sense, he's faceless like Slender- No, that's rude Collins, he probably has bad eyesight. Eyes you can't see remember? But since they said their names, it means they are Slender's siblings. I have to make it past them now.

While I could ask them about Willows, only if I knew they were visiting. Right now would not be good, as I would have to explain where I'm headed, and the fact that I snuck out without telling their brother. It's not something I'm willing to deal with right now. I just hope, I can sneak past them without being seen. Otherwise, I'll to have to think of something else.

Ready, sneak- Oh no, twig snap. If I can't sneak past Slender, then what chance do I have, with three people with similar powers? Hide, Collins, just hide.

"Who's there? We know you're hiding, so come out." That would be Splendor. I mean they haven't seen me yet, so maybe they won't recognize me. Acting skills, don't fail me now. Out I go. 

"I'm s-sorry, I was just passing. I hid, cause you can't be too careful in the Underworld." They are about Slender's height, Splendor has more of a face than the others, by having dots for eyes and a mouth. Offender has a mouth, with a lot of sharp teeth. 

"What's a cutie, like you doing out here?" Offender is closer, he just teleported next to me. Cutie? Him saying that, and I already feel heat coming to my cheeks. Keep it together, Collins. 

"I-I was j-just heading to t-the town. N-Nothing special." One flirt and I'm already stuttering. Darn it. Curse my love for slender beings. 

"Aw, one flirt and I got you stuttering. You're even cuter than I thought." Ahhhhh! No! I can't handle flirting! My blush is even worse now. Thank god, he can't see it. Move out of the way, Collins. 

"I'm-I'm- Not that c-cute. Besides, I-I think I should get h-headed. G-Got places to be! Yep!" Ow- I bumped into a tree. Right, heading other way.

"We could help you there! We had a place that we were heading, but since we have some time, I don't see a problem with us helping." That's going to be a problem.

"O-Oh you don't h-have to if you have a place to be." Please, please take my suggestion and leave. I don't need Slender brothers finding out who I am.

"Nonsense! It'll be no trouble at all. Besides, you seem like you have trouble with direction." Right, I've headed in different places, cause I was embrassed. 

"R-Right. I guess, I'll t-take your offer." Only to the next town, from there I can lose them, and continue onward. I hope I won't have to deal with more flirting.

"Splendid! I remember where it is, so it shouldn't be too far. I'm Splendorman, but you can call me Splendor. These are my brothers Trenderman and Offenderman-" 

"Just call me Offender though, what's your name cutie?" Offender is closer now. Right, my name. I can't tell them my real name is, I have to come up with one. Right, focus. Um- Fedora, tree, coat. 

"T-Theo. My n-name is Theo." Well, it's short, but it works. 

"Theo, is a cute name, just like you." Ugh! I'm blushing again! Everytime! Trender is pushing him away, thank god. 

"Offender, if you flirt more you'll make him a tomato. Excuse my brother, you can call me Trender. Where did you get that coat?" My coat? The one, I got for missions? 

"Oh, this? A f-friend gave it to m-me. It's n-nothing special." I mean Jeff gave it to me, said it would fit me. So I'm not lying about that. I still feel bad, that I had to leave the mansion like this, I'm sure they can handle things without me.

"It looks good, but your mask could use something added to it. Something, like a dash of color." I mean, they did say I could customize it, I just haven't because I don't really know what I want. 

"I'll t-think about it. Let's get going." They are starting to follow me, I feel bad for lying to them, but I need to keep moving forward. If I don't, things could end badly. I just hope I can lose them in the next town, without much problems, and no more flirting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, Collins can handle more flirting. And get to Zalgo before he is found out.


	16. Pets and annoyances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkness again, well I guess I'm used to sleeping and seeing this. There's the light, and I'm standing in a garden? Okay not the usual setting, I'm not going to let that set me off though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More character reveals. Oh my.

Darkness again, well I guess I'm used to sleeping and seeing this. There's the light, and I'm standing in a garden? Okay not the usual setting, I'm not going to let that set me off though. 

"Oh, I didn't see you there. If I knew you were coming, I would have prepared something to eat." That sounds kind of familiar, but it's echos and is rather distant. 

"I apologize for my sudden appearance, but I'm afraid this is no time for our usual meet." The voice coming from me, sounds more anxious this time. If this is one of Willows's memories, then why does he sound fearful? 

"What happened?" Before Willows can say, I'm pulled into another bit of darkness and light. I'm standing in a forest, there's people surrounding me? Or Willows? They're not moving or speaking though. 

"I am not your enemy. Please, you need to listen to me." That's Willows, he looks different. He has a tail, and he's shorter than I usually see him. His tail is brown and long, with a larger tuff of hair on it's end. He's still wearing his cloak.

"Then, get out of my head." He shifts a bit, before he lifts his cloak to show his face. He looks sad. 

"We both know that I can't. It's impossible." His voice has changed, it's still deeper than mine, but only a bit, his voice also sounds hoarse. 

"Why? Just tell me." He shook his head, he's getting closer and putting his hand on my shoulder, while kneeling down to meet my eye level.

"I just know what is, and that comes from you. My knowledge is limited, as yours is." It's limited? "I will be fading soon, and then I will just be another memory of the past. Once that happens you will be the judge of what I am. Please, don't be hard on yourself for that fact." His hand is starting to disappear, wait I'm supposed to bring you back! No, don't go! I'm sorry, about before, just don't go.

"You'll be able bring me back, just not in the way you think. Until then, we won't be talking for a while. Farewell for now." Now he's completely faded away, the people surrounding me are now coming to life. 

One of them is chanting something, I'm- I'm sinking into the ground! The other beside them is smiling widely, I think he's the one who wants me to sink. I see someone in the crowd struggling, they are being held back. I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I can't I have to fight my way out. One name is floating around me, as I'm getting buried. Cryptic. Cryptic is the one above me. Everything is fading to black.

Gasping, gasping for air. Oh, that dream felt like I was actually choking on dirt. Ow, right where am I? Okay, focus. The Slender brothers, decided to spend some of the night in the same room you were in. We were all tired, and well planned to wake before them to continue onward. At least the nightmare beat me, before my alarm did. 

Now, how to make it out of here without being noticed? It's still dark outside, and checking the time it's about three in the morning. Right, how do I do this? All three of them have seemed to have sprawled out. It's kind of funny to look at, especially with their long legs.

Ready, step one, two- Oh, no Splendor is waking up?! I didn't even touch a creaky board yet! Okay, pretend to sleep. Hope he doesn't notice. I hear him getting up, okay just stay still Collins. He's getting closer, closing eyes. Okay, please just take it that I'm sleeping.

"Theo? Why are you pretending you're asleep?" Crap, just stay still, maybe he'll think he's imagining things. "I woke up, when I sensed high negative emotions. I'm guessing that was you." Is that his ability? High empathy? Getting up and adjusting my mask to look at him. 

"S-Sorry, about that. Just had a nightmare, no need to worry." That did not seem to reassure him. "Really, I'm fine. It just left me a bit shaken up, but other than that I'm alright." That seems to calm him a bit more. 

"I'll take your word for it. I'll be going back to bed now." I'm nodding, so he sees I agree. But in truth, it's just another lie. I'll leave when he falls asleep, and try to not feel too bad about, cause that will wake him up again. 

.....

It's been another hour, I think he's asleep. Across the floor now, careful over the limbs of the others. Grabbing my bag now, and out the door I go. It's a motel, so I don't have to worry about being questioned why I'm leaving. 

Out into the road now, okay what does my map say? Hmm, Zalgo's territory is much deeper into the Underworld than I thought. If I just cut through here, I should be able to make it to the next town in the next hour, instead of two. I wish I had a better flashlight- Twig snap. 

Time to grab the blade, next to my leg. Shaking of leaves. Okay, steady- Wait, that's a squeaky noise. It's a...dust bunny? A bunny made of grey dust. I'm tilting my head at it, and it's copying me. Kneeling down, and putting my knife back. I'm grabbing an apple I packed. 

"Hey, there buddy." I'm holding the apple out to them. "Are you hungry?" It's sniffing it, I'm setting it down for them. They so cute- What, oh my god! It just opened it's jaw really wide, and swallowed it whole. It's rubbing it's head, against my hand now. Guess all creatures, down here have a twist to them. 

Growling in the bushes now, the dust bunny hides behind me. Taking out my knife again, don't worry little guy I'll keep you safe. Something- No some things, are stepping out of the bushes. Skeletal creatures, skeletal dogs. There are no wolves in the Underworld, so they must be skeleton hellhounds. A pack of three, looks like they were hunting the dust bunny. Grabbing the bunny, so I can protect it better. 

The growling has deepened, must be because I picked up their prey. Not this one, go eat some other creature. First one charges, dodge and slash. It hits the ground, but it's still ready to fight.

The second one tries to bite my heels, kick and stab the knife into it's head. Well, now I don't have a knife, but the second one looks like it's down for the count. The knife is jammed in, damn it- 

The third one has knocked me over. I made sure to land, so I didn't crush the bunny. My mask fell off, because of that. It looks like I won't last long enough to save it though. It's strong, and I only have one arm to push it away. The first one is helping the other one. 

One of the claws is sinking into my shoulder, I managed to get the second one off, but the other one isn't coming off my shoulder. It tears through my flesh, and if it keeps this up it'll hit bone.

Wait- is that tentacles? The first one has been killed, and the second has met the same fate. My shoulder begin to heal, the torn parts coming back together, like they're being sewn. I have a healing factor? Has Slender found me? No, it's only his brothers- I don't have my mask on! Shit, shit! 

"So, 'Theo' care explain why you left, without telling our brother?" Oh, Offender sounds annoyed. I'm letting the dust bunny go, as it wants to hop around. 

"It's, kinda hard to e-explain." He's crossing his arms, and if he had eyebrows he would be raising one. I'm really making this sound worse than what it looks like. The dust bunny is eating the hellhound corpse, why does this not surprise me?

"Well, since you decided to wander the Underworld by yourself. Lie directly to our faces. We have the time." Yeah, it really sounds worse than it is. I guess I got to explain all that I can. I hope this doesn't result in being taken back to the mansion. 

.....

They are taking everything that I told them in. They are also discussing with each other. I learned the bunny I have is actually a wifferpuff. It looks like a bunny made of dust, but it's a creature that eats everything in its path. Splendor wonders how it has taken a liking to me, as it usually likes beings of higher power. So, people like Slender and Zalgo.

The wifferpuff, has eaten all the hellhounds corpses. And is now sleeping on my lap, while I'm petting it. It's so soft! A little creepy how it can eat everything, but it's cute, so I'm gonna keep it. I'll name it, hmm....Antonio! It's the perfect name, for them. I don't know if it's a boy or girl, but a name's a name. 

"Alright, we've decided to take you to Zalgo. Just so you can get your answers, and then we are taking you back home." Splendor is holding out his hand, to help me up. I'm nodding, and taking his hand. At least the journey will be shorter with them. 

Now it's time to continue onward, I still need to find answers. I'm sure we can teleport there now, but likely in the morning. I'm tired as much as they are, at least me going off by myself gave me one good thing. And they like pets and my food that I packed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collins has a pet! A wifferpuff is a creature that UndeadRelived had let me use for this chapter, as I did not make it.


	17. Finally no more denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, now it's time. I'm going to get my answers. All five of us are at the steps to Zalgo's castle. I have my mask back on, and Antonio is in my bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things are getting revealed in this chapter, enjoy!

So, now it's time. I'm going to get my answers. All five of us are at the steps to Zalgo's castle. I have my mask back on, and Antonio is in my bag. 

I have learned more about Willows from the brothers, it wasn't much though. Most of what they knew is what Slender knew. However I was surprised, when they knew how Slender had a thing for him, brotherly instincts they said. They also mentioned how Willows, was always trying to impress their brother. I also asked how he was able to create fear. And thats how I know now, that he was a shapeshifter, and that apparently he invented the myth of the kraken with it. Kind of funny to think about. 

Just need to get up these flights of stairs, without teleporting. They mentioned, those who don't have a contract with Zalgo, have their powers reduced in his territory. I mean for protection it makes sense. Once we're up them, I hope that the information will be easier to get. 

....

That was too many stairs! I've heard of flights of stairs in buildings, but that was more than necessary. "Not used to stairs?" Offender is giggling, I'm glaring at him for that comment. In we go then, the big doors to the entrance. 

The castle is practically covered in red, the lights are dim, and at the end of the foyer, on a throne of glass, sits the demon I need to see. His skin is black and there are some slits colored red on his arms and mainly a big one on his chest that has teeth. He has large black horns that look like giant bull horns. His cape is colored similarly to his body, with red on the inside and black on the outside. His feet are large and look like as if he's wearing boots. I really can't tell if he is or not.

"How unexpected. My rival's brothers, and I would assume one of his men." He's sipping something out of a chalice. Now that I see him, I feel a sense of something familiar. "So, I know you all wouldn't show up at my doorstep without good reason, care for an explanation?" Right, Slender's brothers are looking at me and nodding. Stepping forward now.

Ready, don't stutter. "I've- I've come looking for answers. About Willows the Lord of Fear." Damn it, I stuttered. At least it was only once. 

He's standing up, he's tall. Don't be intimidated. "Why would a mortal want to know about the Lord of Fear?" He sounds stern. 

"B-because I think I know where he disappeared to." That froze him for a bit. "I'm willing to make a deal for information. C-Can't bargain soul, but I can exchange what I know." Holding out my hand now. Please just take it.

He's straightening up. He's taking my hand. I feel the burning sensation again, his hand retracts and a puff of smoke comes out. Well, similar to what happened to Slender. Checking my other hand, yep an ornate design, like a pentagram. He's looking at his hand too, a bit taken back. 

"You're no ordinary mortal are you?" I'm shaking my head. First time, I admit it I'm not really human. "Alright, let's head to my library, we shall discuss things there." I nod, it's time for answers. 

.....

In the library now, Zalgo has Slender's brothers in a different part of his library. Probably because what will be shared, will be a secret. I have some tea he offered, and I haven't taken off my mask yet. 

"Alright, how will things be shared? Will I be first, or will you be?" Right, okay. How to do this? Ah! I know, what will make it so we don't have any information held off.

"I was thinking we switch as the discussion needs it. Taking turns so to speak. I figured I would have the first turn." He's nodding in agreement. Both of us are not as trusting of the other, so it's a bit like a debate. "I know you were both friends. Do you know why he disappeared?"

"No, I do not. When he disappeared, we had not been in contact." I'm tilting my head, why? "I see I should explain. Please keep this fact between us. Willows had fallen for my rival, Slenderman, your boss, and due to this he was always trying to impress him. While it was good for him, and I didn't mind that he fell for him, he made some questionable choices because of it. Granted in our friendship, he always had been a bit more reckless than I, but he let his feelings cloud his judgement." Willows, had fallen for him too? Figured. 

"So, what happened?" I need to know, why they lost contact. It could explain why he's following me now. 

"Well, one of his choices was particularly dangerous one. He tried to outdo his myth of the boogeyman. By having adults fear something like that as well. I advised him against it, as times had changed. So, we fought and that's why we stopped talking. I regret that day, because not long after he disappeared. What else do you know?" That made me feel guilty, again. Why do I feel like this?

"I know he's a shapeshifter as well, and that helped him create fear to eat it." Trying to brush off what I'm feeling, but it just gets worse.

He's laughing. "Then you only half the reason he did it. Care to let me explain?" I'm nodding. "Willows wasn't just a shapeshifter, he was a shapeshifter, who could change his form slightly, and who could shapeshift as what people feared. Granted he could disguise himself as a human, but that's only because he closely resembled one. Any major forms he had to either create myths, or turn into something that was well feared." That explains the kraken myth. "He didn't just create fear to eat it, he created it to gain power, and because he loved to revel in it. He wanted and needed fear. It was his livelihood." 

"So, he liked creating fear? That could explain why he's following me." Zalgo, is raising his eyebrow at that. "What I mean, is that it seems like he's been following me. I've seen him in my mirror and my dreams for my entire life. His markings are on me now." I'm lifting my sleeve to show the marks on my arms, that now have grown since I last saw them. "Was he able to possess people? Or even just follow them in the way I've mentioned? He's talked to me before in my dreams, but the last one I had he's disappeared." Zalgo, is looking at my arm closer. He's stopped and is letting go quickly.

"No, Willows never could possess someone, that wasn't one of his abilities. I don't, he would not follow someone either. What do you see in your dreams?" If he can't possess someone, and he doesn't follow why have I been seeing him? 

"I mean a lot of things, I mean most of my life I was told it was schizophrenia, and then well turns out my meds were making me forget more. And then I learned that what I was seeing and dreaming about was real, and that I'm not human. I've started getting these marks on my body, and I somehow have the ability to teleport and heal faster. My dreams are always scenes and pieces of things, no matter what there are pieces that are blurred out, and things that would make no sense if it was my memory right?! People and things I've never seen, seem familiar and I don't know why or how, they just are! I just don't know anymore!" I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!

He looks concerned? No, broken. I'm not crying this time, just so very frustrated. "Does Slender know?" That's an odd question, I'm shaking my head to answer it. "That could explain, why you've had to figured this out on your own. Can I see your face?" I guess, I'm getting nowhere, if I refuse. Taking it off now, and pulling down my hood. 

He looks shocked. "I'm sorry, I should have known you- It's no wonder you never came back. I'm such a fool." What does he mean? He wouldn't say that unless- Unless. No, I'm him, him is me? But then how did he- I lose my memory? Cryptic. My dream- It's all starting to come back.

"Zalgo, do you know what happened to Cryptic?" I need to know where he went. I can't save Evelyn, but I can avenge her now.

"Your proxy? He disappeared the same time as you." Of course, he did. The coward. I need to get back to the mansion, so I can find him. "Do you remember me?" Right, settle your bloodlust, Collins-Willows. 

"I do, my friend. It's patchy, but I do remember. I need to get back to Slender's mansion. I need to find Cryptic, tell them who I am, and did leave without them knowing. Would you please help me with this? I'd rather have my friend by my side with this." He's nodding. 

"Of course. Now, are you going to admit your feelings for Slender while doing it, or do you need me to give you a push?" Heat comes to my cheeks. "Come on, you haven't admitted them for-"

"I know! J-Just one thing at a time. At least it'll be easier knowing he likes me back." Zalgo, is giving me a look. 

"Wow, I thought he was the idiot, for not noticing your feelings." Riiigght. Now that I've lived as a human, I know that I really am oblivious as hell. Right, should get headed, I need to get back home now. Never thought I would call it that, but it finally feels right to say. 

I'm not sure how I feel being, well me again. I'm not the same person anymore, but I'll put my feelings all together later. Right now, I need to get back, and sort things out. I'll probably put my memory back together on the way. Just so I'm not a complete mess, when I have to explain things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon this book will ending. I'm kinda excited and sad at the same time. His memory is back so it's not far to the end. I hope whoever is reading this, enjoyed this book as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now to the end!


	18. Saddening moments.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Willows? Are you alright? You haven't spoken for the last twenty minutes." Right, I guess some things aren't going to change now. Such as me overthinking things. I wish I did when I was younger, would have saved me a lot of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sad.

"What do you think?" The image is more clear now, I remember that day better because it fills me with anger. Mostly at myself. Never at Zalgo, he tried to talk sense to me.

"Well, it's your first proxy. I'm glad you're taking initiative, and getting yourself some help. But don't you think you're rushing it?" He was right, I had rushed it. Every bit of it.

"My friend, I've put this off for too long. As you said, I am the Lord of Fear. The more fear the better." Me and my stupid plans, even if I got another proxy, I would try to be more careful. So, I don't make the same mistake. 

Evelyn. I'm sorry I wasn't there, you would have loved Slender. He loves books as much as you did. But it's been a hundred years, and even then last I saw you- No, I can't imagine that. It's best to believe you got to grow up, and pursue dancing like you wanted. I bet you were beautiful on stage. And you later married and had children of your own, and then taught them dancing as well. Heh, I'm picturing you now, dancing in the kitchen with your kids. You look so happy.

"Willows? Are you alright? You haven't spoken for the last twenty minutes." Right, I guess some things aren't going to change now. Such as me overthinking things. I wish I did when I was younger, would have saved me a lot of trouble.

"Sorry, just thinking. A lot is on my mind right now." At least I don't have worry about stuttering or rambling as much. I hated when I did that. "We're almost there right?" Zalgo is nodding, I guess walking for a while doesn't effect me as much. I'll be glad when everything is settled again.

I bet Jeff and Ben are competing with games again. While Natalie and Toby cheer them on. I bet LJ and Sally are having a tea party. Helen is probably painting, with Puppet watching him. I would hope that Tim and Brian are getting some much needed rest. EJ is likely sleeping though, he's nocturnal anyway. Smiley is probably cleaning again, that man likes his workplace clean. Jane is likely with Liu, both of them reading. Jason is probably sewing another doll for Sally. And Slender, you know he would likely be overworking, but sense he needs rest, I'm going to say gardening, until we get there.

It will be hard to explain all this, but won't Smiley be pleased. The man is smarter than I gave him credit for, or maybe I'm just that oblivious. Maybe both. Probably both. Yeah, it's both. No point in denying it, I've been doing that this whole time.

I'm still not sure how to feel about, the whole losing memory thing. Sure, I'm glad to know I wasn't crazy or going to be possessed by some strange entity. But at the same time, I'm just not that person anymore. I still feel like Collins, while I do feel like Willows. Like I would still scare someone given the chance, I still like scaring people. But at the same time, I'm no longer that impulsive. In the past scaring someone was an impulse, now if I do it, it's going to be more 'calculated' I guess. Hell, it feels like someone t took the rug right from under me-

Movement in my bag. That's Antonio wanting pets. Taking them out now. "Since, when did you get a pet?" I'm petting Antonio now, Zalgo sounds surprised. Looking at him innocently right now, and holding Antonio up for him to see.

"I got it, when I saved it, from a small pack of skeleton hellhounds. Their name is, Antonio." Zalgo is just giving them a pat. "Also they like me, I'm keeping them." Antonio is rubbing his head against my hand. Aw, so cute. You know, now that I'm thinking about it. Younger me, wanted a pet that was terrifying. Lucky for him, we have a wifferpuff now. 

"Well, at least you have a companion now. What exactly is it?" I'm giggling, I'll let Trender explain this one. Okay, I'm grabbing an apple for him. Yep, swallows it whole as expected. Stroking under their chin, aw, they like that spot being scratched. Putting them back in my bag, so they can be comfy.

I see the Manion now, finally I'm- The doors are busted open. Some of the windows are cracked, others broken. Running into the door now. Please, let everyone be okay. Please- No. It's even worse inside, glass scattered and furniture toppled. I'm searching looking for signs of anybody. 

"Collins?" Jeff! He's up on the stairs. Running to hug him now. "Careful bud, Smiley just patched up my arm." Right, a little looser. Looking at him now, he looks terrible. Like he's been crying, and those bags. 

"What happened? Where's everyone? Are they safe?" I know it's a lot of questions, but all of them are important. Please just say horrible weather happened. 

"The cult and their leader tore through this place, we tried to stop them, but they were stronger. They took LJ, EJ, Puppet, and Slender. The rest of us are either wounded, or trying to help the ones who are. I'm glad you're back." The only person who could, cause this much damage is Cryptic. He must have stole my name. 

"Take me to the others, please." Jeff is nodding, he's leading me to the medical room. He was right, most everyone is wounded. I'm going to help Smiley the best I can, Zalgo, and Slender's brothers are now helping as well. 

I'm tending to Toby's wounds right now, he's got some of the worse at the moment. A torn arm, it looks like he had been stabbed multiple times. At least he can't feel pain, so he won't flinch with the needle. 

"C-Collins? Is that y-you?" I'm nodding. "Y-You look d-different, new h-haircut?" That joke is terrible, but it's got me gigglimg with him. A small shred of happiness. 

....

We have worked for hours to get everyone stable. A lot of people are down for the count. But we need to get the others who were kidnapped back, if Cryptic uses what he used on me, there's no telling what's going to happen. I also don't really know what he did to me, I only know it left me me without memories and weak. 

We can't wait for the others to get better, because by then it'll be too late. But I can't go alone, if they were able to overwhelm Slender, then I'll only bring more despair. Unless- Unless, I had enough fear to surround me.

"Zalgo, we can't leave them at the hands of Cryptic. I can't go alone, and even if I did it would take an immense amount of fear to supply me. I know Slender's your rival, but if we don't save him, your next one will be your ruler." I'm holding out my hand. He's taking it.

"Alright my friend, I'm doing this for you. I believe you need some fear, yes?" I'm nodding. "Then, I have just the place. Trender, Offender, we'll need you both to come with us too. Splendor, watch over your brother's kin. Willows, it's time we got you back in practice." As always, Zalgo is one to take the lead. I'm nodding in agreement with him.

It's time to- "Oh! Wait! Before we leave." I nearly forgot about them, can't bring them to battle. Out of the bag, and into Splendor's hands. "Please, take care of Antonio for me. He likes pets, especially under his chin, and his favorite thing to eat is apples." Looking at my pet now. "Make sure to behave, or no more apples for a week." Antonio rubs his head against my hand, I think that means he gets it. 

"I'll be sure to. Please get my brother and yourselves back safe." Nodding. I'll get all of them back, or die trying. 

That's a promise I will make. When I get my hands on Cryptic and his cult, there won't be an inch of that building not covered in red. He's already taken one of my joys in life, I will not give him the satisfaction of another. I'm coming for you, Cryptic. Death is at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh damn our boy's out for blood. Get ready for the next chapter which will likely have a lot of blood.


	19. The battle chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time to raid their base. I had just got enough fear to supply me from one of my biggest plans yet. It was enough to impress not only Zalgo, but Slender's brothers as well. I'd say that one is definitely going down in history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter has a lot of gore. Also sad parts, and fluffy parts.

It is time to raid their base. I had just got enough fear to supply me from one of my biggest plans yet. It was enough to impress not only Zalgo, but Slender's brothers as well. I'd say that one is definitely going down in history.

Outside their 'base' now. It feels like yesterday, since the mission that brought me here. Then again, it was during my memory loss. Other than Cryptic, I have another in my mind when it comes to revenge. 

I'm wearing a cloak again, I forgot how much I loved the fabric. The birds are singing. What a rather ordinary thing, on this day. The air is fresh and crisp, a storm must be brewing. How ironic. Right, focus. The distraction is underway, and it's time for us to slip in. While I would enjoy a full out attack, we need the element of surprise. Surprise brings more fear, than brute force.

Slipping into a smaller entrance now, I'm going in first to clear the way for Zalgo. Since, I can fit through cracks in my shadow form. The most basic fear form. First victims, form arm and noise. Nails should do. 

A quick jump and I can feel their fear, it's pulses through them. More noises and moving around as a shadow, more fear is building up. Form fully, stab before they can scream. Blood silences any noise, and helps make more fear. Opening entrance for Zalgo, two more dead with a snap of his fingers. Now, to hide from the noise.

Attracted a large group, smirking at Zalgo, and he's returning the gesture. All of them are falling, crushed someone's head, worked to create more fear from the others. Another stab, and a couple slices. There, another group down. I'll have to clean the blood off later, I know Slender doesn't appreciate it as much as Zalgo does. Also, what impression would that give off? A brute.

Now, we should be able to move through more freely. Have to find, where they are being held. Could take a while, if we're not careful. Okay, stop and listen. Sound echoes through halls, see if I can locate where. 

Focus- I hear some cult members arguing about cheese, no that's not it. Listen for more. I hear water dripping down the walls, no not it. Wait- A monologue? Alright, heading that way, because that would make more sense. 

Another two members down, guarding a way in. I can hide more easily, so I'm going ahead. Zalgo, is going to wait. In the cracks, I can hear the monologue clearly now. 

"Extracting power from someone is easy, but it's definitely painful. You should have asked Willows, the ground swallowing him made sure of that." Cryptic is standing over Slender, who's has been strapped to a table. LJ and Puppet are also strapped to tables, but poor EJ is on the floor. Some power must have been extracted from him. 

Once the extractor used to be several witches, now it's a machine. Much worse, less room for error.

Cryptic looks different than when I last saw him, he used to be so small, now he's as tall as Zalgo. Gross, pulsing black lines run across, his now grey skin. His eyes, now covered in a black film like substance. His once blond hair, now white. And his teeth sharp, and oozing dark grey drool. He no longer looks like that human, I found in my jungle. Dominic looks different too, I see that he's the new favorite. Due to the same lines running through him. 

"Oh, don't worry you won't remember the pain though. I doubt Willows, even has his memory anymore. I mean I wouldn't blame him, if he died not long after." Slender looks like he's about to cry, if I wasn't waiting for the right moment, that would have meant death.

"Now then, let's make this quick." Zalgo, bursts through the door at that. I'm still hidden, but I'll have to switch back soon. I'm getting cramped. I completely forgot how cramped, I can get being a shadow for a while. "Ah, the King of Shadows, how quaint. Coming by yourself was foolish." Zalgo has more blood on him, must have run into more trouble.

"So, you used to be Willows's proxy. I hate this new look you have for yourself, so...how do I say it? Grotesque, and utterly disgusting." Zalgo smirks at that, but I know that's to brush off the anger he's holding back.

"I'm not his proxy anymore, nor do I adhere to his name as he is either dead or so far gone, that nobody could bring him back. I am the new Lord of Fear. The name is rightful mine now, since Willows is gone." If I wasn't in shadow form, I would have been rolling my eyes.

"That wasn't your name to take, nor yours by right. There's only one Lord of Fear and that is not you." Yes, keep him distracted my friend.

"Oh please, Willows has been gone for a hundred years. Last time I saw him he was buried alive. I drained his power, so there's no way he would have survived." I'm still here, you coward. "Besides, last time he was alive, he had taken a liking to another human. A small child. You know, if being buried alive didn't kill him, then the grief would." The silence is filling the room, I have to get closer. "What? You didn't know? I wasn't the only human Willows adored. That small brat is dead, I made sure of that." Hold back the tears, and let the rage take over. 

"Oh, she is now? You know Cryptic, you always a sharp one, but you had one major flaw." Making my voice echo, so he doesn't know I'm right behind him. "You talk too much." Voice no longer echoes. He jumps back. "Hello Cryptic, missed me? I haven't." Stepping out of the dark.

"How?! You were buried, I saw-" Covering his mouth, and slamming him into wall. I've wanted to do that for ages. Pinned him to the wall.

"As I said you talk too much. Now, what was that about Evelyn? Repeat that please, my memory seems to be failing." Oh, I'm mocking him. I can feel him squirm, more fear makes my grip on him stronger. 

Ow- Heh. Backstabbed, by the same person. This time with a spear in my back. Oh, I can't believe I feel for him, and I know it wasn't the hair. Looking at him, I think he forgets what I can do. 

"Hello Dominic. You're still the same." Breaking the spear, and plunging my hand into Cryptic's chest. "Y'know, it's funny. You could have escaped easily, it's what your master would have done." Pulling his heart out, and crushing it. Cryptic's body is limp. "If you hadn't stabbed Jeff, I might have let you live. How unfortunate." Dominic is backing away. "Turn off the machine, and I shall consider it." 

His whole body is shaking, but I think he's complying. Wait- The machine is starting it's process. He's got more power now. Got to finish this quick. 

He's lunging forward, dodge and grab his hands- Ow, kicked. Changing form into hellhound, and biting his arm. Looks like Zalgo has the machine, more cult members are filling the room. Crap. 

Changing form back into normal, he's tripped, and now grabbing with my tail, and launching into a big group of members. Heh, bowling pins. Focus. Zalgo can't hold off this many, so it's time for a change of pace. Shadow form and tripping a big group.

Freeing LJ, and picking up EJ. Oh, EJ looks so small now, and so drained. Putting him by Zalgo. LJ is joining the fighting, I forget he can contort. Next Puppet-

Ow, on floor. Dominic, is stronger than he used to be. Claw his back, and throw him to the wall. Ow- my tail. He used my tail against me. Another stab, and ow- He's doing the same. Claw and kick. His hits, take longer to heal. Damn it. 

Turning into shadow again, and grabbing him and throwing him against the wall. Puppet has been freed. Good. Changing back into normal form, and killing more cult members.

More cult members, stab and kick. I think there's less now, the machine is off- Grabbed from behind. His claws are digging into my collarbone, grabbing him with my tail, and bringing him down to the floor. Some of my skin tore with that, hurts like hell. Pinning him to the ground.

It would seem that most of the other cult members have been killed. "Please, don't kill me. I didn't know you were the real Lord of Fear. Please, I'm sorry." If he had said that before I would have hesitated. 

Leaning in close to his ear. "Not this time." Tearing out his throat and smashing in his head. "Shouldn't have hesitated." His body is limp. There's blood everywhere. And it's not just his. I'm breathing heavily, I haven't fought like that in ages. 

Slender is being freed, running over now. I'm in pain, but I'm putting that aside. He won't like the blood, but I'm sure he won't mind me helping him stand. He's weak as well, but not as much as EJ. Please, don't have memory loss. 

"Collins? You're Willows?" Oh thank god, he's okay. I'm helping him stand now, he's falling somewhat, helping by grabbing his waist as well. 

"Surprise?" I can't believe, I just said that! Why?! You disappear for a hundred years, have memory loss and show up as another person, and you say is surprise?! Ugh, this is why-

He's laughing, and somewhat hugging me. I feel the heat on my cheeks. "I'm glad you're okay, I believe you already know my confession then. If you don't feel the same way, I understand." Right, that was a confession. Be brave, you can do this. 

"Y'know if I wasn't covered in blood, I would have kissed you." Slender is looking at me. "Uh, t-that was supposed to be a thought! I was going to try to say something better. I'm-I'm tired." Ugh, I'm much more flustered than I was hoping to be. I hear Zalgo giggling. 

Slender is laughing. "I never thought I would see you nervous. Right now, I don't care about blood." He's using my cloak to bring me closer and steady himself.

I've- I've been kissed. I'm literally frozen, and speechless. I've been kissed. The love of my life kissed me! I can't help, but giggle a bit. Steadying him a bit more, cause we're going to fall over if we don't- You know what? I'm carrying him. Changing size a bit, so easier carrying. 

"W-Willows?! What are you doing?" Bridal style, it's perfect. The man needs to be carried, anyway. More giggling, but I don't care.

"What? I'm carrying you. You're tired, and I can manage. Besides you said, you didn't mind the blood right now." He's- He's blushing. I can't help, but smirk at that. Revenge! Now I'm the smooth one. 

It's time to head home. Zalgo has picked up EJ, Trender and Offender are helping, LJ and Puppet. That should be everyone, I'm glad that everyone is safe. Finally, I have a home. Evelyn, I have avenged the both of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this works, took longer to make this. Finally feelings have been revealed! Took them long enough am I right?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the part where you either express your hate or love or neither. Please leave a comment, I'd love to hear your feedback.


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